ScorchStack Issue #31 - Matthew Tkachuk And His nWo-esque Posse Of Shit Disturbers
Matthew Tkachuk is an avowed storyteller and he just wanted to give more meaning to Filip Gustavsson's first win
So Tim Peel walks into a bar.
And tells you exactly what he wants.
That’s it, that’s the joke.
What’s inside?
Rasmus Andersson’s potential puck thievery has ignited dramatics far beyond the actual damage caused. Mike is here to go off and tell you why it doesn’t matter, and why you should embrace villainy.
But Darryl Sutter’s villainy is a worse, more treacherous kind: he is a liar, and we are proving him wrong.
Wheeling and dealing? A quick look ahead at the Flames and their potential trade deadline.
Hey, maybe it’s time to pay attention to the prospects again? The team kinda sucks.
Since last week
It appears the Flames lost a lot of games, dampening the mood around this whole new coach deal.
But don’t tell the Big Monday Thing, which still lives in the universe that Sutter is undefeated and none of those games really counted anyways. And neither did the game on Monday either, for that matter (today’s game might not count either, stay tuned).
Burn the Tape, our hockey-centric film review column returned to pick apart the weird and awful world of a British hockey academy. Truly, this review has…. Zero Chill (name of the series).
Oh, and there was the tried and true, classic Scorchstack. It was another great issue with pictures of shirtless Jarome Iginla.
Get In Losers, We’re Stealing A Puck
Oh you think you’re morally superior to me, the ghoul lover?
by Mike Pfeil (@mikepfeil_)
For a league so devoid of actual villainy and heel work, a lot of NHL fans and writers could benefit from embracing the antics of stealing a puck following a goalie’s first career NHL victory. Yes, Matthew Tkachuk — the league’s most prominent shit-heel who does everything from leaving jugs of milk in random aisles of grocery stores to committing voter fraud in Luxembourg — is at it again. Since Jake Muzzin broke his brain, he has been on a warpath of comedically-timed incidents all caught on film.
It’s reported one time he borrowed a shopping cart to get his groceries home and he left it in a ditch alongside the highway. How INTERPOL hasn’t issued a warrant for his arrest, put him on trial at The Hague, and found a way to lock him up like some sort of sadistic Batman-esque trope of a villain is beyond me. Now he has corrupted the kindhearted and gentle Swede, Rasmus Andersson.
Rather than satisfying his own thirst for the blood or dismemberment of his enemies in the league, he has instead warped the fragile mind of Andersson into becoming an honourary Tkachuk. Now that the Flames have a second Tkachuk, it’s only a matter of time before this puck thievery progresses into producing body-horror to opposing teams that would scare David Cronenberg out of making his films.
This is embarrassing, almost like an egg on his face moment for the world to see. Something of this malice, of such absolute disregard for rookie accomplishments like winning your first NHL game is another black eye on the league. Everyone knows that when you think of the NHL, the resounding image is the league’s and players’ commitment to upholding time-honored traditions like respect, tolerance for one another, and channeling the absolute pinnacle of humanity’s accomplishments into a league; a league devoid of personality beyond recycling the same joke about Jamie Benn not performing oral sex for the incalculable time.
What should we do? The moral fabric of a game, where athletes often endure the weight of the world thrust upon them to become the bastions of hope for their respected fanbases can’t get to them. No, that can’t happen, and when you compound that with a team that recently brought in the fifth coach of a current era underperforming once again, it might get to you. Maybe you reach into the core of your soul, look across the ice at the happy countryman in the opposing net, and you say “Fuck it. I’m going to do something sinister enough that the narrative around it will follow me until my dying days.”
Certainly, Flames fans will be manning the ramparts immediately to defend Andersson and Tkach…never mind. Fans are seemingly turning their backs on the two, writing reactionary pieces on middling-at-best platforms as if they’ve been anointed by God to take up the holiest of crusades against a lack of sportsmanship. Maybe there’s a belief that they will be sainted in death, or be regarded as a true ally of decency. The reality is far from this.
Instead, fans are left shellshocked that the beloved star athletes of their market would, nay could, be so treacherous with their actions after a loss. Imagine that, the shit-heel Matthew who has poisoned the conscience of Rasmus, doing this for at best 100,000 people watching live. You could set a somber, end-of-credits J-pop song to it, and compile it under another edition of the Most Shocking Anime Betrayals on Youtube. Anyone who wouldn’t watch that is lying to themselves as much as they’re lying to themselves that deep down they didn’t love this incident a little bit.
You’re probably thinking to yourself “No Mike, I would never. It’s so classless and immature! How dare you assume such a thing.” Sports and sports fandom need villains. The value they bring is critical to balancing the league itself. You need these moments, these instances of disbelief that a grown individual being paid more money than we will likely make in our lifetime four times over would do this. You need an end-to-end, ankle-breaking, mouth agape goal as much as you need the meandering Calgary Flames to be absolute scoundrels.
All of this keeps the league exciting, gives people something to whine about, something to write about for their newsletters. It’s the same reason people tune in to watch wrestling, which is an age-old business of framing babyfaces and heels. It’s why the WWE and WCW went to war in the ’90s over Monday night supremacy. It’s why the rise of AEW, the accessibility of NJPW, and other promotions keep their fans succeed — you have people universally loved and applauded, and then you have Matthew Tkachuk and his nWo-esque posse of shit disturbers.
There is no sense in being upset about the sportsmanship of this game when we continually see disregard for players by even their own organizations which in years past have rushed them back from injuries. You see it in how they conduct themselves on-ice. None of this will shock you but a number of players on the Flames are guilty of this too! Headshots, slew foots, questionable hits, needing-to-answer-the-bell because the referees failed to police the game. The Department of Player Safety failing repeatedly to do a job that is essential, the NHLPA for not being harder on negotiating larger fines, the league itself being broiled in lawsuits over concussions. It’s the whole gambit.
All of that is the worst of the worst — the literal extremes of the problems in this league. For the most part, we all still tune in and the cycle continues; and in that cycle, you need a hero and you need a villain. Sometimes, like in wrestling, the face does turn heel and steals a puck.
Sure, it’s nice when a seemingly nice gesture occurs, but no one cares about the nice moments in this game because they aren’t attention-grabbing. You don’t tune in to see the pinnacle of sportsmanship, or go online to talk hockey anymore to pine about how the player on the other team did something kind. You go on Twitter to sound off, play armchair general manager, criticize players, criticize the league, and talk about how ghoulish another team is for ‘X’ incident.
This league and game, much like the NBA, is always more enjoyable when you have players or teams to root against. Be it the Golden State Warriors for assembling a big three that apparently ruined the league, only for them to be dismantled by the plucky blue-collar team who sacrificed their star for another. Be it the New England Patriots for their goblin coach and former Hall of Fame quarterback who keeps jars of his pee in the basement that captured ring after ring. Be it the Calgary Flames for captain Mark Giordano being sus, maiming Connor McDavid; or Matthew Tkachuk for his countless atrocities that surely will continue to pile up; and now Rasmus Andersson for losing his cool in the heat of the moment and trying to steal a piece of vulcanized rubber.
Keep in mind: Brady Tkachuk did this shit already. He’s cut of the same cloth as Matthew and I’m sure in four years Tim Schnitzel will do something heinous which will be attributed to Brady’s influence.
Every Game Darryl Sutter Pulled The Goalie
All men do is lie.
by Ramina (@ramzreboot) and Nathan (@hanoten)
Last week in a 7-3 loss to the Edmonton Oilers, Flames Head Coach Darryl Sutter said, and I quote, “I do not pull the goalie.”
Immediately upon seeing this, we assembled. We had a mission to prove him wrong. So we did. We went all the way back in time to 1992 and sifted through all the games he coached to find every instance of Lying Darryl pulling the goalie. We found 79 times where he did this. These are those pulled goalies.
Kings head coach
2016-17:
October 18, 2016: Kings @ Wild
November 1, 2016: Kings vs Ducks
December 13, 2016: Kings @ Sabres
January 8, 2017: Kings vs Stars
February 5, 2017: Kings @ Capitals
March 19, 2017: Kings @ Flames
2015-16:
March 21, 2016: Kings @ Predators
2014-15:
January 3, 2015: Kings vs Predators
January 14, 2015: Kings vs Devils
March 1, 2015: Kings @ Jets
March 28, 2015: Kings @ Wild
2013-14:
October 4, 2013: Kings @ Jets
October 15, 2013: Kings @ Lightning
January 2, 2014: Kings @ Blues
January 30, 2014: Kings vs Penguins
April 17, 2014: Game 1 playoffs, Kings @ Sharks
2012-13 (shortened lockout season):
February 2, 2013: Kings @ Ducks
2011-12 (Took over coaching for Kings at 33 games into the season):
February 22, 2012: Kings @ Avalanche
Flames head coach
2005-06:
October 9, 2005: Flames @ Red Wings
November 18, 2005: Flames vs Chicago
January 24, 2006: Flames @ Avalanche
2003-04:
November 4, 2003: Flames vs Red Wings
November 9, 2003: Flames @ Blue Jackets
January 20, 2004: Flames @ Kings
2002-03 (Took over coaching for Flames after 36 games):
January 11, 2003: Flames vs Blue Jackets
January 23, 2003: Flames vs Coyotes
March 20, 2003: Flames vs Capitals
Sharks head coach
2002-03 (Coached Sharks for first 24 games)
October 10, 2002: Sharks vs Red Wings (season opener lol)
October 21, 2002: Sharks vs Canucks
2001-02:
October 18, 2001: Sharks @ Devils
December 28, 2001: Sharks vs Rangers
January 24, 2002: Sharks @ Blue Jackets
March 23, 2002: Sharks @ Kings
May 4, 2002: Sharks @ Avalanche (Playoffs, game 2 Western Semi-Finals)
2000-01:
December 8, 2000: Sharks vs Canucks
December 21, 2000: Sharks @ Flyers
January 17, 2001: Sharks vs Flames
February 1, 2001: Sharks vs Stars
March 1, 2001: Sharks @ Senators
March 18, 2001: Sharks vs Red Wings
April 16, 2001: Sharks vs Blues (Playoffs, game 3 Western Quarter-Finals)
1999-00:
October 11, 1999: Sharks @ Ducks
December 14, 1999: Sharks vs Chicago
January 11, 2000: Sharks vs Blues
January 28, 2000: Sharks @ Canucks
March 17, 2000: Sharks @ Ducks
April 9, 2000: Sharks vs Canucks
April 23, 2000: Sharks vs Blues (Playoffs, Game 6 Western Quarter-Finals)
1998-99:
October 18, 1998: Sharks vs Bruins
December 2, 1998: Sharks vs Stars
January 30, 1999: Sharks @ Avalanche
March 6, 1999: Sharks vs Chicago
1997-98:
October 19, 1997: Sharks @ Coyotes
October 31, 1997: Sharks @ Chicago
November 30, 1997: Sharks @ Oilers
December 26, 1997: Sharks vs Coyotes
January 6, 1998: Sharks vs Blues
February 28, 1998: Sharks @ Oilers
March 30, 1998: Sharks @ Blues
April 24, 1998: Sharks @ Stars (Playoffs, Game 2 Western Quarter-Finals)
Chicago head coach
1994-95 (shortened lockout season):
March 9, 1995: Chicago vs Kings
May 7, 1995: Chicago vs Maple Leafs (Playoffs, Game 1 Western Quarter-Finals)
May 17, 1995: Chicago @ Maple Leafs (Playoffs, Game 6 Western Quarter-Finals)
1993-94:
October 14, 1993: Chicago vs Whalers
October 18, 1993: Chicago vs Stars
October 28, 1993: Chicago vs Maple Leafs
*October 31, 1993: He didn’t pull out the goalie but Ed Belfour let in 9 goals on 25 shots against the Flyers and Darryl didn’t take him out lol
December 7, 1993: Chicago @ Blues
December 29, 1993: Chicago @ Jets
January 8, 1994: Chicago @ Capitals
January 9, 1994: Chicago vs Oilers
March 22, 1994: Chicago vs Red Wings
March 31, 1994: Chicago vs Capitals
1992-93:
October 21, 1992: Chicago @ Sabres
October 29, 1992: Chicago vs Flyers
November 3, 1992: Chicago @ Capitals
November 23, 1992: Chicago @ Canucks
January 9, 1993: Chicago @ Blues
January 27, 1993: Chicago @ Canucks
February 13, 1993: Chicago @ Penguins
There are no words.
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*No, we did not write, direct, act, produce, or have anything to do with 95% of this movie, but we did use deep-fake technology to put Matthew’s face on Macaulay Culkin’s. That counts for something.
If You Want A Trade, Go Become A Plumber
Actually, that analogy works, because Brad Treliving’s trade possibilities are mostly shit
by Floob (@itlooksreal)
Look, all I’m saying is expect a pretty boring trade deadline. What was once the most exciting day on the calendar for hockey fans everywhere has now turned into a competition for sports media to see who is able to fill the most amount of dead air. This is the routine during normal times. And these are not normal times. With COVID quarantine rules, a flat salary cap for the foreseeable future, and new temporary divisions that only play games internally, this certainly makes this upcoming trade deadline day unprecedented, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be any good.
For the Calgary Flames, the taste of the postseason feels like more of a mirage with each passing week. When you sport a 2-3-0-1 record against the worst team in the league, you showcase to the world that you’re more than one or two depth pieces away from lifting the Stanley Cup in front of an empty arena anytime soon.
Unless General Manager Brad Treliving feels like his job is on the line if he doesn’t take a massive swing before the deadline (it probably isn’t and he probably can’t), this most likely means the Flames are going to take their lumps for the rest of this truly bizarre season, sell off the most realistic trade chips they have, and try to spark some 2019 magic all over again next season. Going For It right now is not very prudent, and I would only expect it if Treliving peeled his face off his body and revealed himself to be a maniacal Jay Feaster, maybe the worst person I would ever want with access to that kind of face morphing technology.
The team needs more firepower than they can afford to acquire, and mortgaging the future now makes no sense for a team that, at best, would be unlikely to see the friendly confines of the second round. If there are hockey trades to be made, that’s great, and I would expect Treliving to explore them, but the NHL is neither a selling nor buying market right now, so there are only a handful of deals I can see being made, none of which will entertain you all that much.
And seeing as we’re here to entertain you, let’s list off these possible, but very boring trade chips, and one destination they could possibly end up in.
David Rittich - G - Pending UFA
The only person who loves Big Save Dave more than his entire family is me, and even I know we’re on the back nine of Rittich’s tenure in Calgary. He’s an affable guy with an infectious personality, but more important to the scope of this article, he’s a good goalie on an expiring contract. If there has been a coveted commodity in this bonkers NHL season, it’s been goaltending. In no other season would you see a third-string goalie like Anton Forsberg bounce between four different teams over a two-and-a-half-month span. We all know how important depth and goaltending are in playoff runs, and if your starter goes down, you are cooked.
Isn’t that right, the Colorado Avalanche?
The Avs have a perfectly fine starting netminder in Philipp Grubauer, who has provided some elite goaltending to a team that can survive just fine on average results. I hate them. But backup goalie Pavel Francouz has had some kind of mysterious injury that has prevented him from playing a game this season, and the alternatives they’ve turned to in his place feel like draft picks you select when you’re three seasons deep into your EA Sports Franchise. Should Grubauer succumb to injury over the course of what should be a deep playoff run for the Avs, that could spell trouble without anyone capable to hold down the fort.
Well, David Rittich isn’t perfect, but he’s certainly capable, and definitely more so than /checks….Hunter Miska. Come on, that’s clearly made up. I don’t think a third-round pick is too much to ask for an insurance policy in the playoffs, and Rittich is free to find himself a new starting job somewhere else in the offseason, like Cam Talbot before him. Jacob Markstrom is about to be a workhorse in Calgary for five more seasons, and Dustin Wolf sure does look like the goalie of the future, so it probably won’t be here. We love us some Dave, and you know what they say about when you love something.
Derek Ryan - C - Pending UFA
Derek Ryan proved a bunch of us wrong. He was definitely always overpaid, but there is no question he’s been downright good over his three seasons in Calgary. He’s been a reliable 4th line center, sometimes 3rd line center, penalty killer, and provided a surprising offensive flair that I don’t think anyone knew he had.
But he is 34-years-old now, and the age demon comes for all of us eventually, so it seems very unlikely that he inks a new deal in Calgary once this campaign is mercifully put to bed. He’s the perfect kind of depth rental for a team looking to make some noise in the playoffs. I have a feeling a lot of GMs will be texting Bradford Treliving about his services.
I think the place that makes the most sense for him is Chicago. The Hawks are holding it down in the Central Division, certainly playing over their heads, but surprising everyone nonetheless. They’re like the team version of Derek Ryan, if Ryan was powered by a dickhead sex creep and his entire branding was cultural appropriation of Indigenous people. Chicago has all the cap space in the world thanks to Jonathan Toews’s decision to sit the season out and the team sending Brent Seabrook to the glue factory, currently opting to utilize a group of forwards you’ve mostly never heard of. They have a kid named Pius Suter playing first-line center for them. Sure fucking thing Chicago, why don’t you offer up a draft pick for a real hockey player like Derek Ryan?
Sam Bennett - C (kinda) - Pending RFA (RFA???!?)
If there was ever a chance for Treliving to make a surefire, by the book definition of a hockey trade, it’s with Sam Bennett as the core piece. Bennett is still an RFA and under team control, and while the Fresh Start talks have cooled on him in recent weeks, he’s still a prime candidate to find a new team before the season ends, and probably one that’s playoff bound. The allure of Playoff Sam Bennett could be enough for teams to pony up something more than a late round draft pick, even if his regular season play leaves much to be desired. I think there is one PERFECT spot for Sam, and that is the New York Islanders.
The Islanders make no damn sense. They keep being extremely successful for no good reason. Sure they have Mat Barzal and some nice complementary pieces, but they also play Leo Komarov, Cal Clutterbuck, Matt Martin, and Casey Czikas in the lineup all at the same time! On purpose! Komarov is on their first-line right now! (ed. note: and that’s after he cleared waivers today) Sam Bennett would probably thrive in whichever fake part of New York the Islanders play in right now, because a) he’s better than those players just mentioned, and b) it wouldn’t make any sense for him to be good there, so he probably would be.
The Isles also just lost a very important player in Anders Lee for the season, meaning they just cleared up more than enough cap space for Sam Bennett, and also need an infusion on offense. Not that Bennett is on the same level as Lee, but Lou Lamoriello strikes me as just the right kind of maroon to fall for the Playoff Sam Bennett narrative to think that he could.
Maybe this is the trade that finally sends Josh Ho-Sang out of town to the fresh start he’s been looking for so badly. I don’t know if Calgary gives him the chance to shove it down the Isles throat, but I would sure like to see him get the opportunity!
Josh Leivo - RW/LW Pending UFA
Josh Leivo is good. He’s a dependable, experienced, bottom-six forward who costs almost nothing and doesn’t hurt you on any given night. For whatever reason, he doesn’t seem to be in favour of just about anyone in Calgary, but there’s still no question he’s a valuable depth add for a playoff team looking for supplemental talent in case of injury/anything unforeseen. You won’t get much of a return for Leivo, likely a late-round pick, but they didn’t get much to get him either, so if you need to spin this, it’s practically a free asset.
As for where he goes, hell, if Bennett or Ryan don’t get moved, Leivo would be a good fit for the Isles or Chicago as well.
Really seems like the Flames should be better this year, doesn’t it?
Oliver Kylington/Nikita Nesterov - D - Impending RFA/UFA respectively
Do you remember Oscar Fantenberg? Erik Gustafsson? Sure you do! They were some guys that were just around all of a sudden because the Flames were going to the playoffs and felt like they needed a couple of extra jerseys with names on the back of them.
That’s what Oliver Kylington and Nikita Nesterov would be to a few playoff-bound teams just looking to have more guys on them. These two are 6th/7th defensemen in Calgary and could be traded to other teams to become a 7th/8th defenseman. It’s real boring and teams do it every year. Nesterov was never going to be in Calgary for more than a season anyway, and it sure doesn’t seem like anyone is ever truly going to give Kylington his shot (as much as all of us here at the Scorchstack would love to see him get it, but they aren’t returning our calls). These types of deals always mean a 6th or 7th round draft pick the other way, and you know what? Fine.
Anyway, before I forget to mention it because really, who cares, I think Winnipeg and Boston could use some guys. Watch out for them.
If you’re looking to see a big, splashy Sean Monahan or Johnny Gaudreau trade, you better fire up your Playstation my friend, because that’s the only place you’re going to find one. The headline deals on deadline day are already of a bygone era anyway and it’s certainly shaping up to be doubly scarce this time around. This won’t just be true for the Calgary Flames, but league-wide. Quarantine protocols dictate that any player that gets traded won’t be available to a team until there are maybe five games remaining, so if a team was looking to bolster their lineup with some trades, they probably would have already done it by now. But by all means, you should still get up early, tune in to TSN (The Scorchstack Network), and spend all day glued to the TV, drinking red eyes, and sitting on the edge of your seat desperately hoping even one trade to happen before your spouse comes home and asks if you’ve done literally anything at all today.
Which you have not.
It’s tradition.
A Quick Prospect Update
I suppose we have to care about these things again.
by Christian (@decayinwtheboys)
Whether you’ve already written this season off and are looking forward to tricking yourself into believing in the Flames again, you’re holding out a slight bit of hope that the Flames go on a miracle run and make the playoffs, or you don’t really care either way and just hope the Flames don’t overpay for Marcus Sorensen at trade deadline, prospects should be somewhat relevant to you.
The Scorchstack is not interested in wasting your time, so I’m just going to tell you how much you really need to care and a little something about them. If you are unfamiliar with the tier system, you can read up on it here, but the titles are pretty self-explanatory.
NCAA prospects
Jake Boltmann- D, Notre Dame- Wait a few years tier: When you draft a defensive defenceman, you’re not really expecting points, but zero? A little concerning. He stepped onto a Fighting Irish (canceled) team in January after switching commitments and was okay on the third pairing with a bit of penalty killing time. Not awful for a guy who just jumped into a pretty good NCAA program, but you want him to show something more sooner rather than later.
Josh Nodler- C, Michigan State- Underdog tier: The beating heart of a pretty awful Michigan State team that only managed to score 1.48 goals per game this season, so take his 11 points with a grain of salt. Nodler’s a strong two-way player, the only player above 50% at 5v5 goals for (+24% relative) for the team, but being the best player on a doormat team probably doesn’t mean that much. Keep him on your radar, but don’t get too invested.
Demetrious Koumontzis- LW, Arizona State- Do not care tier: This was supposed to be a bounceback year for him, as he followed up a 20 point freshman year with just eight in his sophomore season. He did not bounceback.
Yan Kuznetsov- D, UConn - Wait a few years: A pretty helpful asset for the UConn Huskies with six points in 16 games, with much-improved defence. Not shooting up the charts by any measure, but he’s trending in the right direction. Check back later.
Mitchell Mattson- LW, Michigan State- Do not care: Did you know he was part of the same draft class as Matthew Tkachuk and Dillon Dube?
Euro prospects
Daniil Chechelev- G, HC Ryazan (MHL)- Wait a few years: He stole everyone’s hearts by going on an unexpected win streak immediately after getting drafted by the Flames and putting up the best SV% in the second tier of Russian hockey. Then everyone forgot about him when Chechelev regressed to being average. Such is the life of a Flames goalie, but he is only 20 and highly regarded in the Russian system.
Lucas Feuk- LW, AIK- Do not care: He was not good enough for the second tier of Swedish hockey, so he is currently playing in the third tier. I did not know that league existed until he got sent there.
Johannes Kinvall- D, HV71- Give a shit tier: Kinvall is putting up forward numbers as a defenceman, and is still seventh in team scoring despite missing nearly 40% of the year due to injury. It’s still up to him to see that translate, but everything is looking great so far. Boy, we could really use a good RHD ‘round these parts.
Ilya Nikolayev- C, Buran (MHL)- ???????????? tier: The mystery man who has his own special tier because he is a very weird player. Highly regarded coming into the 2019 draft for his two-way prowess, he appeared to struggle in his draft + 1 season but still got rave reviews from the Prospect Knowers of the world.
And that still hasn’t changed. 13 points in 37 games in Russia’s second tier might not be inspiring, but he was playing on a team that won nine of their fifty games. Like Nodler above, he’s a tremendous two-way player who is among the only Buran players to come out in the black on 5v5 GF% (dead even at 50%, +10 rel) and played heavy minutes for a team that bled goals and couldn’t score (positive: he’ll fit right in!). Once again, we’ll wait to see if a clearer picture emerges.
Filip Sveningsson- LW/RW, MODO- Do not care: Very much a flash in the pan player who hasn’t looked as good as he did two years ago.
Ilya Solovyov- D, Dinamo Minsk- Wait a few years: He’s a seventh-round pick who was a great offensive player as an overager in the OHL who transitioned to being a fine third pairing guy in the KHL. That’s something. Not a guy who sets the world on fire, but might be okay in the NHL. Let’s see where this goes but don’t get your hopes up.
CHL Prospects
Ryan Francis- C/RW, Saint John Sea Dogs- Give a shit: The Flames love drafting small guys who can score, mostly because it keeps paying off for them. Here’s your 2020 edition of that guy. He got traded, took four months off of hockey due to lockdown, and then immediately came back and scored a rooster trick. Francis rocks and I have very high hopes for him.
Rory Kerins- C, Soo Greyhounds- No strong opinions tier: Kinda hard to judge a guy when his season is canceled and he’s a 14th forward for the AHL team due to the circumstances. I think the Flames should play him more just to get some free development going and because why not.
Jakob Pelletier- LW, Val d’Or Foreurs- Give a shit: A fantastic two-way player (74GF% at 5v5, +23% rel) who is currently experiencing the worst shooting drought of his life (8.5% shooting instead of his usual 15%) and is still eighth in point-per-game scoring in the QMJHL. There’s not a thing wrong with his game at the junior level, and it’s a shame we can’t see what he would do in the AHL this year.
Jeremy Poirier- D, Saint John Sea Dogs- Wait a few years: The offence-first, defence-last defenceman still has the offence and has been making a few improvements on defence, so positive trend there but nothing worth getting too excited about yet. He’s still not complete, give him a bit more time.
Dustin Wolf- G, Everett Silvertips- Give a shit: The WHL has not yet been able to score on Dustin Wolf yet. Whenever they do score on him, it won’t be because of willpower or superior talent, it will simply be because he felt some sort of mercy.
Connor Zary- C, Kamloops Blazers- Give a shit: I’m a natural cynic, so his seven points in nine AHL games don’t mean much to me. He is talented, but being gifted first-line minutes in a “have fun!” environment, where everyone else is fighting for their NHL careers, is probably going to result in a positive showing. I’m still excited for Zary given his previous WHL results though, he’s going to be great.
AHL prospects
Glenn Gawdin- C - Give a moderate amount of shit tier: Remember when he got caught picking his nose on TV? Well, he’ll probably get another chance in the near future to do something more memorable, but still tops out as a fourth-liner.
Carl-Johan Lerby- D -Do not care: A decent player as an AHLer, but probably too old (24) and not skilled enough to ever be an NHLer. Hope he has fun.
Connor Mackey- D - Do not care: Another guy who made a brief cameo appearance this season. Mackey is an older prospect (25), and one of those players who don’t typically have long NHL careers, as he doesn’t really offer anything unique or excel in any particular area. He’s doing fine as a top-pair defenceman for the Heat, but given his skill set and his age (and also that a number of these guys are available every year), he’s probably already played 100% of the NHL games in his career.
Tyler Parsons- G- ??????????: Has mostly been injured. Now he’s quarantining. He might play like ten games and that will probably not be enough to make a judgment call on him.
Matthias Emilio Pettersen- RW/LW- Give a shit, but cool your jets: Pettersen has broken into the AHL scoring at a respectable clip (10 points in 13 games). Unfortunately, he’s mostly been a powerplay and rush-chance threat and is not that impactful at 5v5. Almost certainly going to be a helpful NHLer, but don’t look at the boxcar stats and think the Flames have found another Andrew Mangiapane.
Matthew Phillips- RW- Give a shit: Do I really need to say more than “Matthew Phillips”? He shouldn’t be on this list.
Luke Philp - C - Do not care: Putting together a nice little season for himself as a special teamer, but probably not destined for the NHL as he’s 25 and has suspect defence.
Martin Pospisil- RW/C - Wait a few years: A future addition to the Flames roster of villains, Pospisil was coming into his own offensively. Then his knee got exploded and he’s probably out for the season. A shame.
Colton Poolman- D - Do not care: Colton Poolman is a great name, I wish he was good.
Adam Ruzicka- C- Wait a few years: He blew up early in the season, scoring three points in back-to-back-to-back games and briefly led the AHL in scoring. Certainly, a kid who deserved hype.
But I guess no one read the scouting report on Ruzicka, because he immediately started struggling again. That is Ruzicka: somewhere between “why wasn’t this guy a first-rounder” and “why was this guy drafted” on every night with no middle ground. He’s faced inconsistency throughout his whole career, and he’s probably not going to be trusted by coaches and management until he sorts that out.
Eetu Tuulola- RW- Do not care: Eetu Tuulola is a top ten all-time name, I wish he was good.
Alexi Yelesin- D - Do not care: Remember this guy? He played something like six games for the Flames last year? Yeah, he’s still around.
Artyom Zagidulin- G - Do not care: I don’t mean to be rude to the former KHL Russians, they are just not convincing NHL players. Sorry!
Dmitry Zavgorodniy- RW - Wait a few years: I fully expected Zavgorodniy to be among the top of the AHL roster this year. He has zero points and has generally struggled to make an impact, even after a pretty strong but short stint in the KHL. Not all of them are winners immediately, but he’s still very promising.
Up Next Week
Remember the Winnipeg Jets? We haven’t seen them in a while, and now they might sink our playoff hopes. Hmm, anyways, sounds fun.
Maybe the Flames make some trades? We’ll say goodbye to some losers and hello to our new handsome boys. Who knows.
Apropos of nothing, a big issue all about goalies