Burn The Tape: This Netflix drama has got Zero Chill

Burn the tape is making a comeback, baby

Tibs sent this to the Scorchies group chat on Monday:

Lime Pictures @LimePictures

Today our new teen drama #ZeroChill launches on @netflix 🎉 All 10 episodes of the series are available to watch right now on #Netflix! ⛸ Watch here: netflix.com/title/80996811…

I immediately knew I had to review this. It’s a 10-episode series with episodes around 25-30 minutes long, so we’re doing the entire review in one shot, baby. Let’s go. This will almost be like a live review of each episode, so I may be like “omg I think this is going to happen,” and whether it does or doesn’t, I’m still including what my thoughts were in real-time. The first few episodes will probably be a bit longer because they require some more explanation for characters and situations and backstories. Let’s go.

Episode 1

My very first note is, “The mom is British I guess. We don’t hear an explanation.” We never get an explanation for this. The rest are Canadian and the mom is British. The two main characters, Kayla and Mac, are twins with the girl being a figure skater and the boy being a hockey player. They all moved to England from Toronto because he got a hockey scholarship. In England.

The boy is not a good actor. This rings true for the remainder of the series. Also, I looked him up and he’s an aspiring director and says his main influences are “Quentin Tarantino and Steven Spielberg.” Like, if you asked me about any two directors that I know of, I’d say, “I don’t know, Quentin Tarantino and Steven Spielberg?” You’d think someone who’s into directing wouldn’t say the two most obvious answers. Moving along.

Kayla is at a rink doing ice skating things and she’s video chatting with her old partner since she was in a pairing with him, they’re skating together through facetime.

So, I guess Mac and Kayla’s dad played with an NHL legend, and now that NHL legend has this team/program in England that produces superstars. That’s the team Mac got a scholarship to.

Jacob (Kayla’s skate partner) doesn’t want to be Kayla’s partner anymore because they’re across the world. Seems reasonable. Kayla is very upset. There’s an invitation to be on something called “Blade Star” but now Kayla needs to find a partner first.

I don’t like Mac, he’s very self-centred and spoiled. Even the team doesn’t like him because he’s very selfish on the ice. He’s also extremely rude to the guys during practice. My next note says, “Ugh he’s so annoying I cannot deal.” Kayla is sitting in the cafeteria in the rink that looks down on the rink and she makes friends with the server there. They start talking and are becoming friends. Mac comes in and says, “I’m here on the hockey scholarship, I was the one banging in all the goals.” Kayla’s new friend says, “Is your helmet specially made?” and Mac goes, “No?” and she goes, “oh cause I thought it would have to be to fit your massive ego.” I like her. Her name is Sky.

Ok, I get the sense that Kayla and this girl are flirting a bit? How incredible would it be if they got together instead of that girl with Mac? God, I’d love that.

Don’t mind the drawn-on mustache, it doesn’t matter.

Kayla’s now back at the rink to do her routine with Jacob but oh no! He doesn’t answer his phone! It’s officially over! Some hockey player comes on the ice when she’s done and she hides because she’s not supposed to be there. He’s dancing! She gets excited! He notices and runs away.

Sky has some sort of illness I guess but we of course don’t know what it is yet. It’s now Mac’s practice and the coach is the big-time NHLer who played with their dad. He seems like a dick.

Future Ramz note: Oh you’ll come around bitch.

Kayla and Mac have a fight right before practice. As Mac gets ready to skate for the first time in front of his new coach during practice, Kayla goes onto the ice? That’s disrupting practice, Kayla. She’s making Mac try and get the puck from her. Nobody else cares? This is very weird. Mac knocks her down, the coach says to her, “You skate well, pull a stunt like that and you’re banned from this rink.” A teammate said, “Hey Mac you skate well” but about Kayla because their last name is Mac, I don’t actually know what her brother’s name is. I bet the player who said that is the one who danced before.

Ok, whoever made this movie doesn’t know Canada. They’re supposed to be from Toronto, the dad is saying he misses the “chinook winds” and “all that warm air coming in over the mountain.” That’s nowhere near Toronto. One single Google search would tell you this. It literally tells you where it is in the very first paragraph on Chinook Winds’ Wikipedia page.

Mac sees Kayla sneak out and goes after to see where she’s going. He sees her sneak into the rink and calls the coach (his name is Anton Hammarstrom) pretending to be someone else, we don’t know why yet. Kayla starts dancing with that dancing hockey player, but we still don’t know who that is. Wtf Mac told on his sister that’s rude why did he do that.

Episode 2

Anton takes her home and said she broke into his rink and tells her parents that their daughter is “out of control.” Why is Mac so rude. Omg, I bet the girl from the cafeteria is the dancing hockey player (Sky).

I guess the coach owns their house? And owns the house of many people here on scholarship? He said, “Most of my houses have pools” for everyone else. Wait a minute, the team is named the Hammers after him. What??? What kind of scholarship is this?

Anton seems like a bad dad and his daughter (Ava) seems very nice and cool.

Future Ramz: Again bitch? Just wait, damn.

The team pranked Mac for his initiation by just putting a bunch of balloons in his locker. They’re all recording and laughing. They got him sooooo good, what a super crazy prank. Mac seems extremely annoyed and upset with the balloons. They’re just balloons. Am I missing something? Are the balloons filled with piss?

Anton is making Kayla clean now for sneaking into the rink. Seems like that should be against child labour laws, but what do I know. Mac is still very upset about the balloons, he’s kicking many things! I think he needs to calm down a bit. Hey Mac maybe you should Zero Chill. Haha. Sky is there and is laughing at him. Oh damn, Sky had leukemia!! Crazy!!! Mac is uncomfortable with this information.

Kayla can’t find #67 (that's the jersey number of the dancing hockey player) and she’s determined to find them. Anton has an idea! He thinks the team has sloppy turns, he’s going to make Kayla skate so they improve their turns. He wants her to skate one on one with them.

Anton’s daughter Ava was watching him ask Kayla over her and now she looks upset. Omg, maybe she’s the dancing secret hockey player! Anton’s daughter comes to help I guess too. KAYLA ALSO SUSPECTS IT’S HER! Oh, Ava is secretly into hockey but she figure skates with her mom who was some famous figure skater.

Omg, ok, so. The dad invites Anton over. Mac invites Sky over and Kayla brings Ava so they all order pizza. Ava lives with her mom, I guess her parents are divorced. Ava exposes Sky as being a figure skater. Nobody knew!! Kayla finds out she’s #67!! I knew it!!

Wait Jacob’s in the UK? HUH? Kayla called him earlier and he wouldn’t say where he was because he was trying to hide it from Kayla, but then he posts pictures all over his social media of him very obviously in the UK. Very smart, Jacob!

Episode 3

Anton is growing on me.

Future Ramz: I told you.

Kayla thinks Jacob is there to surprise her because she’s a stupid idiot baby. The audience knows better because we are not naive and he is definitely auditioning for that Blade Star thing with his new partner. Kayla is tracking Jacob’s location because she’s very sane and she wants to “beat Jacob to the punch” before he can “surprise her” and Sky is desperately trying to get her to stop because she knows he’s not here to surprise her. Sky is the best character.

They track him to this random rink and they find out it’s “pairs camp.” Yes because they decide to have a pairs camp all the way in the UK when Canada has many very good programs. And yes, Jacob as a 15-17-year-old already found a new partner in like a week in the UK. Ok.

They see each other and Kayla is obviously mad and then all of a sudden she’s over it I guess. None of these people ever have school work. Or school even. When are they going to school and doing their homework?

Jacob’s new partner is very annoying (her name is Maia) but is being purposely annoying like they intentionally made her awful and an asshole so we’d feel more badly for Kayla. Literally nobody acts like this in real life. Basically, Jacob’s parents have been wanting a new partner for him for a while because they didn’t think Kayla cared about championships enough.

Jacob sends Kayla a coded message (it was dumb we don’t have to get into it) to come dance with him and they do and realize how much they love skating together. Jacob says his parents don’t care about that, they only care about medals and awards, so she suggests that they enter Blade Star. His new partner is being annoying and she takes him away, so Kayla sneaks him away from her later.

Mac is being a selfish player and never passing so his teammates leave him out to dry when he’s hogging the puck and the other team scores. Everyone’s cheering, that team’s bench is now extremely excited because they are now down 7-1 instead of 7-0. The coach yells at Mac to get off the ice and to be benched for the last five minutes of the game in front of literally everyone including the stands. Lol. I love it.

The episode ends with Kayla hiding Jacob in their car and bringing him to hide in their house.

Episode 4

Everyone in Kayla’s family finds Jacob almost instantly. It’s incredible how bad they were at this.

Ok, something I’ve noticed: I said I didn’t know the brother’s name since everyone calls him Mac because of their last name (I found out it’s MacBentley), but even the parents and Kayla call him Mac? Is that not weird? If I had a hockey-playing brother and everyone called him Shlah, I would not be calling him Shlah too? That’s weird I would just call him by his first name. Unless his name is Mac MacBentley lol.

Future Ramz: Lmao

Wait I just realized that his jersey says Mac on it which I assumed was his last name before learning it was MacBentley. What is going on? Have these people never seen a single hockey jersey? Imagine if Ovechkin’s jersey said “Ovi” on it.

The team is going to play a charity event against a team called the Orcas. Mac sees an ex-teammate of his named Carson who he clearly doesn’t like. Mac’s mom comes over and says “Your old friend Carson’s going to be staying with us!” and Mac goes “Mom we are not friends.” The mom goes, “Sure you are!” and walks away. Honestly, I respect it, she doesn’t care for their teen drama.

They have weird tension I feel like they fucked and Mac is weird about it now.

Oh, Carson’s a royal asshole. I get it now, I don’t think they fucked I think they just genuinely don’t like each other because they’re both narcissists. Carson makes Mac look very nice, I’m almost feeling bad for him.

They’re at an ice breaker the night before the charity event with both teams, Carson is hitting on Sky and Mac is clearly jealous. Ok so, there’s a theme in this episode that Anton doesn’t write anything down so no other team can even sneakily steal their game plan. Mac was writing stuff down (Oh gee I wonder why extremely predictable show) but they’re never allowed to take it home. Ava steals the notebook because she was mad at her dad and gives it to Carson.

Episode 5

Mac realizes Carson has his book. Jacob and Kayla want to perform in the first intermission for Jacob’s parents because they just got there to get Jacob, sorry I forgot to mention that. Mac catches Jacob practicing in the men’s washroom and finds out and is pissed because he thinks Kayla will embarrass him.

Anton invites Ava to be on the bench with him during the game. She’s excited but like bitch you ruined the game? You’re just going to let them fail now?

Now, Jacob decides to leave without telling Kayla and Sky is pissed because he left Kayla hanging.

Omg.

I know what’s going to happen. Sky’s going to skate, isn’t she?

Kayla still goes out onto the ice even though Jacob isn’t there. Girl why. This is so embarrassing everyone is like wtf is she doing here the players are literally still on the ice, it’s not even the end of the period yet.

It’s literally silent omg I can’t watch.

Sky comes out!! They’re gonna skate together!!! I’m screaming!!!!

Oh, btw Sky knows the dance because she helped choreograph it. Another by the way, she hides her skating because her mom is worried about her doing anything strenuous since she had cancer.

Omg, they’re more than halfway through the performance and all the players are still on the ice? This is SO awkward?

Oh no Sky falls!! She hits her head!!

Episode 6

Sky wakes up and is fine but of course, her mom is worried and mad at Kayla.

Ok, lowkey Anton is kinda sexy? I know he’s like 50 but at the end of the day I’m still a Woman, you know?

Present Ramz: I told you.

Past Ramz: Ohhhhh.

That’s him, isn’t he like lowkey sexy?

You can’t tell me he’s not sexy, look?? That’s a sexy man? Please.

He has fewer than 3K followers on IG. No, YOU just followed him, mind your business.

Anyways, Anton is pissed about the night before since the other team “somehow” knew their entire game plan and is making them do bag skates. What is this, Darryl Sutter? Ava told her dad she wants to play and he first said no. But he now has an idea to get Mac his confidence back since he’s clearly down on himself and makes Ava go in net. Ava is surprisingly a good goalie. She has never played goalie in her entire life but she’s very good.

Ava leaves the net because the guys start arguing about the game from the night before and she’s trying to tell them it wasn’t Mac’s fault, but Mac took off his helmet and threw it because he was mad, but it was really so when he shot the puck, it bounced off the crossbar and hit his head. This show is very predictable, I’m starting to get annoyed.

Mac pretends to be more hurt than he actually is so he can go to the hospital to see Sky. Also, there’s a character here named Bear and he’s the captain and he’s actually really cute too, sorry I had to point that out (don’t worry he’s 25). I just couldn’t have you all thinking I only thought Anton was sexy without mentioning Bear.

He only has 5K followers…… no I also did not just follow him haha. He’s also sharing in his stories everyone who’s tagging him in their stories? Scorchies, we know what to do.

Moving on. Anton is letting Ava on the training team and she is very excited. Sky and Mac are for some reason in the same room at the hospital. Mac doesn’t even need to be there. He’s wasting resources.

Kayla talks to Sky’s mom, they’re good now. Sky’s mom lets her skate again. Sky and Mac sneak off to a playground. UGH, Mac is not a good actor I do not like him. Sky and Mac are about to kiss and a bunch of kids yell EW GROSS. The kids start throwing slime at them (ed. note: who just has slime and throws it like it’s the mid-90s?) and they’re all having fun. Mac realizes hockey doesn’t make him happy anymore, says he thinks he should quit (dun dun DUN).

Episode 7

Sky and Kayla are officially skating partners. Mac tells his parents he doesn’t want to play hockey anymore. Ava’s mom Elina aka Anton’s ex-wife offers to coach Kayla. Lots happening here.

Bear and his younger brother who’s also on the team (Sam)’s dad comes into town for the first time in two years. I guess he hasn’t been in the picture. Bear is clearly annoyed as expected. Look I’m just going to say it. Why’d this show have the make the Black kids not have their dad in the picture, huh? What’s up with that, Zero Chill?

Mac’s dad makes him see he actually likes hockey by telling him some lame story about Mac as a kid on the monkey bars. Anton gives Ava his first professional stick. Love the character/relationship arc of these two.

Ok so, Mac is still unsure of his abilities so Sky wants to help and gets him on the ice to do some figure skating moves. But she was supposed to skate with Kayla so she called asking to reschedule, but she said she wasn’t feeling well. Also earlier, Elina took Kayla skate shopping, but Kayla’s parents aren’t letting her keep the skates so she calls Elina to let her know. Elina is at the rink and sees Sky and Mac skating together. Elina knows that Kayla and Sky have a partnership so she’s trying to ruin that so Kayla will skate with Elina as an individual and tells her to meet her at the rink. Elina really ends up being the villain here.

Kayla walks in at the same time as Bear and Sam. Oh, Sky and Bear used to date which I feel like doesn’t actually matter one bit except to give us more conflict with him and Mac. Typical. Kayla and Bear see them kiss on the ice, Sky runs after Kayla because she’s obviously upset, and Bear is pissed at Mac for kissing his ex. Of course, Mac doesn’t think he did anything wrong because he’s selfish as we’ve already established. How could you go from Bear to Mac? Complete downgrade. Makes no sense, luv!

Bear’s pissed and tells the team that Mac’s the reason the Orcas won because of his notebook (Bear found out but kept it a secret). The team’s pissed, Ava’s there and doesn’t say anything because she knows it’s her fault. Kayla finds Elina and tells her she’s in to do this individually because she’s mad at Sky.

Episode 8

Guys, I’m tired of this show, but I’m keeping going just for this. The first couple episodes were exciting and I was actually excited to watch after the second episode, but at this point, I just feel like they’re trying so hard to create as much conflict as physically possible and it’s so painfully obvious. There’s TOO much conflict. Anyways.

Ava and Anton were talking in the car about hockey and he mentioned the Russian KLM line and she goes, “No team was ever as cohesive as the ‘84 Oilers.” So she’s now an enemy of the Scorchstack. Anton says, “We’ll have to agree to disagree.” 1: I’m on team Anton. 2: Anton come on the Scorchstack.

They have their next game against the Wolverines and whoever wins qualifies for the Hurricanes Cup. They’ve played one real game all season and one charity game, but sure, this game is the big one.

It’s practice and nobody’s passing to Mac because they’re all pissed. Anton cancels practice and is doing team bonding instead. He says “Nobody is leaving until we’re as cohesive as the ‘84 Oilers.” Anton Hammarstrom, you are canceled, sir.

Kayla and Sky make up I guess.

The team played laser tag. It didn’t work, they all still hate Mac. So Mac’s dad suggested inviting everyone over for a barbecue. Mac is asking his mom what sweater he should wear and his mom says, “Why don’t you just wear a shirt?” Mac goes “because it’s a barbecue, not my wedding” lol. That’s the one good thing Mac has said this entire series and we’re eight episodes in.

Ava ends up telling the team she gave the notebook to Carson. Her dad leaves angrily. The rest of the team is pissed at her and apologizes to Mac. Mac’s the only one not pissed at Ava for some reason.

Oh boy here we go, some more unnecessary conflict. So earlier Bear and Sam’s dad said he wants to get a house for the three of them, they’re all happy. As they’re walking home from the barbecue, the dad said once he gets some money together he’ll get it. Bear says he knows that he doesn’t have any money so the dad says, “I know son, it’s on you. That’s why I put a bet on the Wolverines game.” Basically, he needs the Hammers to lose. Yes, because you’re going to win, what, $300,000 on one single bet on one single junior league hockey game. Ok.

Episode 9

Mac and Kayla had a little feud going but they’ve now made up. Some guy with the Wolverines is at their house and wants Mac to sign with them after their game tomorrow (the team is based in Czech).

That guy is now at the rink watching their practice (he’s the coach of the Wolverines). Bear and Sam’s dad is a dick. Bear tells him he can’t throw the game and he threatens to ask his younger brother instead which of course Bear won’t let happen because he’s a protective older brother. He’s clearly upset in practice so Mac talks to him and Bear tells him. Bear says he can’t do it, so Mac says he’ll throw the game and it’s fine since he’s leaving after the game anyway because he’s going to accept the offer with the Wolverines.

Earlier, Elina said Kayla can’t have friends or family at the Blade Star to support her because she doesn’t want any distractions, but now Kayla is feeling the pressure and sneaks out of a bathroom window while preparing for Blade Star.

Mac finds out they haven’t actually offered him anything and it’s all dependent on how this game goes, so now he’s screwed because he already told Bear he’d throw the game.

Episode 10

God, finally. The last episode.

Lmaoooooo. No fuckin way. Remember what I said earlier about Mac’s name? The announcer just announced him and said “Mac MacBentley” so his name is actually Mac MacBentley lol. No wonder he’s an asshole.

Mac is throwing the game, Bear can see the other coach for the Wolverines is pissed and is worried, so he tells Mac to call it off and they start playing better. The Hammers call a timeout and Bear is giving the guys a pep talk. For everyone in the stands to hear as well because that’s how this show works. Their dad hears and hears him not throwing the game so he leaves, Sam goes after him so Ava has to go in net now. She kills it. Yes, every shot is definitely going wide, but she’s still unnecessarily going out of her way to stop them and that’s all that matters.

Bear goes after Sam, Sam finds out what happened with their dad. He’s upset.

Mac scores the game-winner with two seconds left in the game while Kayla nails her performance at Blade Star. Because obviously. Except Elina is NOT pleased and tells her how terrible she was even though she’s in second place after the first program. Kayla sneaks off.

Bear and Sam make up with their dad. God Bear is so sexy.

Kayla finds Sky because Sky came to watch her. Kayla tells Elina she wants to skate in a pairing with Sky. Elina is rude to Sky too. After the game ended, Mac and the fam decide to go watch Blade Star even though Elina said no family but they simply don’t care! Sky’s mom is there too.

Sky comes out to skate with her. Even though Kayla joined as an individual? They can’t just now skate together at the competition, that’s literally against the rules? You didn’t sign up as a pair? And where did Sky even get her skating stuff and her outfit from?

Elina is very mad.

They kill their performance obviously because this show is extremely predictable. Kayla earned a score of zero and was disqualified because duh that was literally not allowed. Oh, Sky borrowed the costume from Maia (remember her) who was there, and agreed to lend her outfit to Sky because she knew it would disqualify Kayla, smart.

Ava and her dad make up in the end. They hug for the first time ever I think. Ava cries. I want to hug Anton too he’s so sexy.

That other coach is talking to Mac now and tells him they’re offering him a spot on their team. Mac sees Kayla and Sky hug while this conversation is happening and decides not to go to Czech so the entire family can stay in the UK together. That’s the end. It sucked.

Overall thoughts

The first episode was very clearly just an over-explanation of things so we knew everyone’s backstories. I get that. After the second episode when they learned Jacob was in the UK, I was hooked. I even told the Scorchies that I was invested in this show. But keep in mind I like very shitty MTV reality shows and I was obsessed with Pretty Little Liars. So I live for these teen dramas.

But around the fifth or sixth episode, I was a little tired and bored of this. As I explained earlier, it was extremely obvious that they were just trying to create conflict at every opportunity they could. The best characters were Sky and Bear.

I don’t recommend this show for the storyline, just for Bear and Anton. Overall I give this a 6/10 (would have been lower without Bear and Anton). Don’t watch this. Just google those guys.