BURN THE TAPE: Mighty Ducks Episodes 3 + 4
A twofer of Emilio Estevez
We’re back for two new episodes of The Mighty Ducks! Thank you to my sister’s ex-boyfriend who has yet to notice that I’m still using his account. He likes napping in jeans so I didn’t expect him to be a brain surgeon here. Apologies for missing last week, we interviewed THE Igor Larionov II so that took Sunday’s spot instead. But that means you get a twofer this week, lucky you.
Let’s do a quick recap of the series so far:
The main kid Evan was told by his coach for the team The Ducks that he shouldn’t bother playing hockey because he sucks, his mom Alex decided to help him create a team of “Don’t Bothers”, and we met Emilio Estevez aka Gordon Bombay. Their team sucks shit, they got demolished in their first game. I think Emilio Estevez may offer to coach even though he hates hockey.
Episode 3: Breakaway
Evan and uh.. fuck.. what’s that other kid’s name? The one with the podcast? God damn it, ok one second.
NICK.
Ok, so Evan and Nick are trying to convince this girl Sofi who plays with the Ducks to join the Don’t Bothers. She and Evan were friends before too. She actually seemed like she may have wanted to, but her family is “all about excellence” so she has to be the best at everything, aka sticking to the best team. They’re trying to convince her by saying she won’t stand out on the Ducks. Nick says, "I broke down the data your playing time and your shooting percentage. Look, if you came and joined us, you’d actually increase your recruiting prospects.” Damn alright, Mr. Future Analytics Guy. More like a young *scrambles trying to think of someone in analytics who follows us* Evolving Wild twins.
🎵Look at this graph.🎵
She says no but seems interested.
Alex Googles Gordon Bombay to find out what his deal is with hockey. I don’t know if she finds anything out.
During practice, Emilio Estevez grabs Alex’s hockey journal and secretly wrote down a few drills because they’re bombing during it. The Don’t Bothers are going to play the Ducks next. I think Sofi may go easy on them or at least try and help them, I don’t know, I have a feeling. But as we’ve learned, I’ve been completely off in every single episode.
Never mind, Sofi has literally scored like 10 goals in this game.
The Don’t Bothers are down 17-0 lol so Alex opens up her book to find a play to do (one written by Emilio Estevez). She finds something called “The Breakaway” and they decide to try that. Hell yeah, they score, no shutout today. The team is celebrating after they lost 17-1 because that was their first goal.
The Ducks coach is berating them for winning 17-1. Sofi is sick of it and she went and joined the Don’t Bothers!! Nice.
Alex went and told Emilio Estevez she knows he wrote the play down in her notebook. She finds out that the college team he built and was the coach for, he broke a law for giving money to a kid who didn’t have any and was forced to resign, so now he has nothing to show for his hockey days. Alex tells him that he still has the Don’t Bothers.
The episode ends with him taking down his “no hockey” sign. Ooooooh foreshadowing.
Episode 4: Hockey Moms
Alright, I’m not the biggest fan of the way this show has made Sofi’s family dynamic. Why’d they have to make the brown girl have shitty, over-working, over-pressuring parents? Like, ok I get it because it’s true (Sofi, I feel you girl), but I’m not sure, it’s just… a little much. Like I get the sense they PURPOSELY cast a brown family for this role, you know? [Editor's note: can't believe the franchise that called a line consisting of two black wingers and a white center “the oreo line” would fall prey to racial stereotypes]
There’s some hockey moms skills competition that happens every year, so this year they decided it was the Ducks moms against the Don’t Bothers moms. Logan’s dad showed up because Logan’s mom left their family. I don’t think that’s allowed Logan’s dad, but sure. Emilio Estevez is going to help the moms I guess. So he’s going to help a bunch of moms who don’t care about this skills competition than some kids who desperately need a coach. Ok, horn dog.
Oh jeez. Ok so, after the hockey moms practice Emilio Estevez is helping Alex get a fast slapshot to beat some girl in her office. He’s doing the whole “let me stand behind you and put your hips into position” thing. I’m uncomfortable. It’s such an awkward way of trying to flirt. You’re adults. Grow up and fuck already. Nobody cares about this.
Alex leaves instead because of their weird, intimate moment.
This next part’s irrelevant but it’s kind of funny I guess. Evan, Nick, and Koob are having a sleepover and Koob’s obsessed with his phones but Nick’s moms took their phones due to their no-screens after 10 pm rule. Koob goes and starts singing to them to distract them because I guess they like show tunes and Nick and Evan will go steal his phone back. Koob is a very good singer?? Dude why are you playing hockey.
Alright, so Sofi has been secretly practicing with both teams because she didn’t know how to tell her parents. She accidentally left her Don’t Bothers jersey on under her jacket when she arrived at Ducks practice and the whole team and her parents saw it.
Sofi’s parents call the Don’t Bothers losers, Alex hears and tries to defend the team. Sofi says that if the Don’t Bothers moms win the skills competition, she gets to play for them and vice versa.
It’s now the competition, it’s tied, and the tie-breaker is the slapshot challenge, remember what Alex was practicing earlier? Alex hit 41 miles an hour, 1 faster than Stephanie, even though her highest prior to this was 25. Makes sense! Stephanie’s husband was recording and was like “look her skate slightly passed over the line” so it didn’t end up counting. Ok, cop.
Ducks moms win.
Sofi’s dad felt bad and is actually letting her join the Don’t Bothers. Nice. Emilio Estevez came to their house to congratulate Alex on getting the faster slapshot, aka I’m pretty sure he’s just horny and that’s why he’s here. Keep it in your pants, Emilio. This is a kid’s show. Alex invites him in with the pie he brought, I think they’re definitely going to fuck next game. Or at least kiss, since like I said, this is a kid’s show.
Recap/thoughts
Alright, I definitely liked these episodes better than the last one, which was very boring. This one had some feel-good moments, but also some shitty moments to remind us the real world actually sucks and you almost never get your way. I’m not the biggest fan of how slow Alex and Emilio’s relationship is going because, in my opinion, they definitely just need to fuck. Also, I didn’t think this was relevant but Nick is into the Cocoa Girl at the Ice Palace. She’s like 17 I’m pretty sure and Nick is 12, and I have a weird feeling they’re going to have some weird “cutesy” moment and I’m extremely uncomfortable about it. I hope my feeling is wrong, it has been throughout literally this entire series so it’s definitely plausible, but if it’s not I’m not going to like it!
Also, the main parents (there are two sets of them) that they’re trying to make out as villains are people of colour. Don’t like that either. Not sure if that was intentional or not, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I guess they’re making Sofi’s dad better now, but hockey is such a white sport, it’s extremely unlikely that the worst parents are the POC.
Previous Episodes: