The Big Monday Thing - What Do We Want? Seriously, I Don't Know
and when do we want it?
Are the 2021 Calgary Flames a bad hockey team? Unquestionably yes.
Should they be in the thick of a suddenly tight race for the last playoff spot? A truly laughable notion. Absolutely not.
Are they in the thick of a suddenly tight race for the last playoff spot? Oh, you bet they are.
Are the Montreal Canadiens likely to get their act together and take that 4th spot in the North Division? No. They are also hellbent on missing the postseason.
Are they still probably going to get 4th even though they won’t earn it? Yeah, it just has to be the way.
Is it still fun watching this hapless sad sack Flames team make a late push for postseason glory, even if losing more at this juncture and securing a higher draft pick is likely a more prudent outcome? 10000% yes it is.
We are all sick for enjoying any of this. We will not stop.
The Week of: April 19th-25th
Results From Past Week: The week began with a contest against the juggernaut Ottawa Senators, an unfeeling killing machine that has laid waste to every team standing in their way this season, and naturally the Flames were yet again callously dismantled by this future dynasty. Nothing here to feel bad about, the Sens are easily the best team we’ve seen in hockey in quite some time, you’re going to lose to them more often than not.
The Flames rebounded nicely with double decker wins over the Habs, again, and that’s good, because these matchups all have the mathematically incorrect “4 point contest” label on them, but the point remains that the team needs to sweep this series to stay in the race.
Still fucked up that I can say that last part and actually mean it. It’s been a really exciting race all the way down to the bottom.
Flames Overall Record: 21-23-3, 45 pts
Standings: 5th place in the North Division. We know what’s going on here at this point.
Soundtrack: Dawood Ibrahim (Woof Woof) - Cartel Madras
I probably should have put something up by Cartel Madras before now, but here we are. These India-born, Calgary-raised ladies whip ass. They’re going to be stars, and it’s a crime that they aren’t already.
What We Liked:
It’s obvious at this point, but we don’t talk about this enough: Andrew Mangiapane rules.
My dude.
I don’t need to go over the things you already know. By a lot of metrics, he’s been one of, if not the most important forward at 5 on 5 all season long, and he’s been doing it up and down the lineup. The new combo he’s been on of late with other Scorchstack favourite Dillon Dube (and Sean Monahan, who is also here) seems to be fruitful, but the Bread Boy has produced on any line he’s been on (hello sporadic 3M reunions). If the Flames do indeed pound out enough wins to claim that final playoff spot in the North Division, his play will surely be a big reason why. He won’t come close to winning it, but I would suspect that he gets more than zero votes for the Selke this year, and they would be deserved. He kicks ass.
Also this is a rule now:
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
While the wins over Montreal last week were exciting, well played, and genuinely fun to watch, they were played so in the face of potential disaster, and likely should have been postponed. With Josh Leivo being added to the covid protocol list after already skating with his linemates was some pretty by the seat of their pants action from the league. Given everything that JUST HAPPENED in Vancouver, one would think the league would have learned a hard lesson about public health and safety, but the real lesson is one that the rest of us should know by now but continue to be shocked by: the NHL will always do the wrong thing.
We don’t know for sure that Leivo had the virus, and cancelling the morning skate after learning of a potential exposure was the right call, but that was a half measure. Leivo’s story sounded somewhat similar to that of Adam Gaudette in Vancouver, and we all know what happened there. The league apparently decided that they would rather gamble, choosing not to tinker with the schedule any further, instead of making sure the players and their families would be safe from the virus. What’s even more infuriating is their decision to remain radio silent over the issue:
This is appalling. And extremely predictable. What a dumb league.
Enemy of the Week:
The funniest part of a renewed playoff push means that the continued importance of Jacob Markstrom means that we’re like 85% of the way through this season and still have yet to see Louis Domingue get ice time in a Calgary Flames jersey. That’s one of the few hockey related dreams I have left, and if anyone ruins that for me this week, that person is the hands down enemy. The stakes have never been higher.
What Happens Next/We Were Right:
Last week’s prediction:
This week, your Calgary Flames are set to face, that’s right, F̶r̶a̶n̶k̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶l̶l̶o̶n̶e̶ The Montreal Canadiens for every game between now and the end of time, because the North Division is a hell-born phantasm that one cannot wake from. This means, as we’ve all seen coming for weeks now, that the Flames and Habs will battle all the way down to the middle. Montreal will suck just enough to give the Flames a glimmer of hope of obtaining (earning is not the right word) the last playoff spot in the division, before cruelly snatching the berth back on probably the last day of the season.
I’m just telling you this now as a reminder that it’s going to be a disappointment. Not only because that’s about where we all expected the team to land for quite some time, but because of how this string on games will be played.
Guess we’ll be waiting a couple of weeks on this one still.
Award Show Snark of The Week:
Well, the big movie show was last night. I will not be participating until justice is served and the 1987 Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling drama Over The Top is retroactively awarded Best Picture.
Even if and when that happens, the only award show you will ever need to care about is The Scorchies.
Unrelated Fact:
On this day in 2009, Iron Man 2 was released in theatres, with Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow, among others, reprising their roles in this popular MCU sequel. Interestingly enough, I watched this movie last night, and it turns out that it still stinks.
The more you know!
See You Next Week:
Hey, see you next week.