ScorchStack Issue #25: Hearts On Fire, Which Is Not Ideal
Love is in the air... hey better wear a mask! Just playing.
It’s the season of t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶v̶e̶l̶ ̶c̶o̶r̶o̶n̶a̶v̶i̶r̶u̶s̶ ̶C̶O̶V̶I̶D̶ ̶1̶9̶ love, and we’ve caught the fever! It’s natural during this, the official season of romance, to spend undue time thinking about the people in our lives that make our hearts feel like a piping hot bowl of oatmeal, and for us here at the Scorchstack, those people are the Calgary Flames (and I guess our loved ones and significant others and whatever).
The problem is, we’ve spent most of our lives professing unrequited love to scores of young men who very much did not deserve it. Players come and gone who did not satisfy our emotional needs. Our friends always told us “you can do better”, and deep down inside we knew that was true, but we never could truly quit the Calgary Flames.
Instead, we reflect on the ones that got away, and praise be to Kipper that they did, because it turns out they just weren’t very good at all.
Speaking of the ones that got away, twitter nuked Ramz’s account. Please send candy hearts to @jack telling him to dunk his head in a toilet.
What’s inside?
Since it’s the season for love, we open up the archives of Flames who remain in our hearts even though they never had a case to remain with the team.
The love also applies to Andrew Mangiapane, who needs more of it because he’s good at hockey.
Since last week
A full week of ScorchStack? You better believe it, baby.
There was the famous Big Monday Thing on, uh, Monday. Read it if you need to catch up on everything that happened up until Tuesday.
Of course, there was the regular ScorchStack: discussing the stock market, Jacob Markstrom, Sam Bennett, and Milan Lucic in the most topical and relevant ways possible.
Favourite ScorchStacker Francis Ericsson moves into the spotlight with his own weekly column. This time, he used his powerful brain to fix the NHL’s Coronavirus problem.
Flames We Loved That Sucked
Flames we loved that sucked. I’m not sure a premise for an article could be any clearer
Sven Baertschi
If you didn’t believe that the future was safe and secure in his hands when he was emergency recalled and scored three points, you’re a liar. If you didn’t imagine the “Sven-sational!” headlines you would see for the next decade of Sven Baertschi, you’re a fraud. If you’re going to be one of those assholes who says “I never saw it in him,” I am banning you from ever reading the ScorchStack again. Click off the website right now. This is a place of noble Flames fans who can admit that they believed the hype and you do not belong here.
There was certainly doom ahead for the Flames. There was a sickening future where the Flames would be without Iggy or Kipper but with nearly a decade of Darryl Sutter picks and hangers-on who still managed to be gumming up the works. The Flames were headed for another late 90s period but without anyone who could be called “young” or a “gun.”
But there was this saviour, coming in from the Swiss Alps wearing a funny number, sporting a funny name, and who actually looked like a good NHL pick, something the Flames hadn’t seen in years. He racked up points in junior, looked like an NHLer when he was forced into the league, and seemed to be the leading man for a smooth transition into the next era of Flames hockey.
Did you not believe right then and there that it was all going to be fine? That the kid who could crash the net and take everyone by surprise would step right up and pot 20 the next season?
He never did, because the post-Sutter, pre-Treliving Flames happened to him, a dark period in its own right. Bob Hartley criticized him for every play he did or didn’t make while giving a very long list of Schmucks (there are too many Schmucks to list, please just look at some of these rosters) longer NHL careers than any of them deserved to have in the years of our Lord 2013 to 2015. Jay Feaster seemed to believe, but never did anything to aid his development besides echo the coach but also pay lip service to him being important and young. Brian Burke didn’t believe and demoted him the second after firing Feaster. He seemed blindsided that the team treated this way and never was the same again.
I don’t know if Baertschi would have ever been good with the Flames, I don’t think anyone can know. But what we do know is that he was mismanaged and mishandled by two morons who can’t get real NHL jobs anymore and then dismissed by the untouchable dinosaur god of hockey management that didn’t really believe in him at all and didn’t see the value in trying to get a 22-year-old player with potential going on a basement-dwelling team.
Baertschi gave a lot to a Flames team that didn’t care about him. For that, he was traded and returned one Rasmus Andersson. He went on to have a concussion-laden career with the Canucks, one of the worst fates imaginable.
-tibs (@decayinwtheboys)
Deryk Engelland
Deryk Engelland, what can I say about him? Well, not much because he wasn’t very good. But why I loved him, you ask? Again, not totally sure on that one. There was one period where the Flames went through a few games either getting shutout or maybe scoring one goal, and I think after a couple of games of getting shutout, Engelland scored a goal to break that goal-drought and me and two friends (hi Eleni and Kels) started an “Engelland, our sniper” trend and would root for him every time he scored. That may not be exactly how it happened, but something along those lines, so I was devasted when he went to Vegas, but also happy for him at the same time since he was going home.
But also, I had a Dougie mask (yes I was one of those with the Dougie mask at the game) and Eleni and I were getting them signed and I asked Engelland to sign around the edges so Dougie could sign the middle and I specifically asked, “Just not on the face, please!” he signed dead centre. So, he’s kind of an asshole, but it’s ok.
by Ramz (@RaminaShlah RIP!!!)
Marcus Nilson
I fucking adored Marcus Nilson, mainly because I got on a hot streak in NHL ‘07 with him on the top line alongside noted king of being underrated Daymond Langkow and the greatest that ever lived Jarome Iginla. From there, a very young Mike Pfeil was convinced that if Marcus Nilson could simply do what I made him do in NHL ‘07 he would be fabled. If I could go back in time to that year I would sucker punch my younger self in the jaw for this and other reasons, but primarily this reason. We all know that wasn’t his game, but 19-year-old Mike had hair and lacked any semblance of logic. I attribute this belief in Nilson to drinking too much and living on a steady diet of Burger Baron.
by Mike (@mikepfeil_)
Sam Bennett
This piece was inspired (for me at least) by the fact that Sam Bennett is not long for this roster, and that will make me sad. Not necessarily because I loved Sam Bennett on my own, but because my wonderful partner Jess inexplicably loves Sam Bennett more than anything else in hockey right now. Through her eyes, I grew to love Sam Bennett.
I met Jess in Vancouver in 2015, who was still a Canucks fan despite having limited interest in the team since 2011 and watching all her favourite players leave for Anaheim with no hope for anything in the future, which is still the case in 2021. In our first year of dating, she humoured me by joining the fantasy hockey league I co-commissioned for the university’s newspaper, and drafted Sam Bennett because back then the legend of 18-year-old Sam Bennett was a real thing and she thought we could bond over both rooting for the Flames to do well. Her team was dogshit, and the only category she led in was PIMs. Offensive Zone Penalty Dynamo Sam quickly emerged as someone she could rely on to be awful in a way that benefitted her, and that hooked her. Look, her past favourites had been Ryan Kesler and Kevin Bieksa. She has terrible taste, myself included.
She also loves sports violence, and the thing that sealed the deal with Sam Bennett was that one game where he absolutely destroyed Jacob Trouba back when Trouba still played for the Jets. There was blood everywhere, and Jess was screaming in sheer delight.
I bought her a Bennett jersey, and she wore a Flames jersey and didn’t hate it. I truly had it all.
We even got to tell Bennett a very abridged version of this story. We lucked into front row seats for the Flames’ 2017 NYE game against Chicago. I made a sign letting Bennett know that she abandoned the Canucks, and it was entirely due to him.
He saw the sign in warm-up, stopped skating, and then made his way back to us. Through the glass, he asked if this was real, we said yes, and he laughed and gave her the thumbs up. That was it. We had to love Bennett forever.
Every year, Jess has drafted Sam Bennett to her fantasy hockey team. It’s because her fantasy is to live in a world where Bennett is good at hockey, and what’s the point of a fantasy team if she can’t indulge in that daydream. We’ll be sad to see him go when he does, but one of us definitely more than the other.
By Nathan (@Hanoten)
Steve Montador
I’m relatively certain I’m not alone in thinking the best moment of the Flames’ improbable run to the Stanley Cup Finals in 2004 was Steve Montador’s overtime winner in Game 1 of the Western Conference Final against the San Jose Sharks.
If not, watch it again and realize you were wrong:
Goddamn. I felt the hair on my arms stand on end the moment it happened, and all these years later, it still happens whenever I see it. I probably watch this video at least twice a year.
Montador was a fun piece of the puzzle in 2004, but it was this goal that made me fall in love with him. His run skating celebration back to his blueline and a swarm of elated teammates waiting to love him. He barely made it there on his own two feet, but if you had just scored the goal of your life, the euphoria might get the better of you as well.
Postseason magic aside, Montador never really clicked in Calgary, and that’s okay. There’s an old adage in professional wrestling that people only ever remember big moments, not big matches. For Montador, who tragically passed away in 2015, he will always be remembered for such a big moment, a slice of history that left an indelible impression on an entire fanbase. Who wouldn’t want that?
by floob (@itlooksreal)
Mason Raymond
One of the very first Brad Treliving UFA signings, Raymond was coming off a pretty successful comeback season with the Maple Leafs. He had recently been run out of Vancouver after breaking his fucking back, so watching him re-establish himself as an effective middle-six winger was encouraging. As such, when the Flames had signed him to his new deal, I was initially very happy. Not only did a rebuilding Flames team get a nice veteran who could be a semi-decent scorer so that the team didn’t completely embarrass themselves on a regular basis, but also a guy who has returned after such a rough injury and was still able to be effective. Just an all-around guy that had been treated unfairly and proving people wrong.
Sadly, Raymond wasn’t really able to continue his form, which wouldn’t really be a problem for a team that was likely destined of the bottom of the standings. The problem was that year turned out to be the goofy year where everything seemed to be going right for the Flames and they somehow made the playoffs. Raymond was reduced to a 3rd/4th line role for most of the season but still managed to be a positive presence, even if he wasn’t getting the puck luck his teammates were getting.
It is even more of a shame that the next year was even more of a struggle, since he got sent down halfway through the season and then bought out in the offseason. No, I am still not over the fact that they decided to buy out Raymond over Lance Bouma. No, you shut up.
What else can I say? He was a really likeable guy that skated really fast, liked by his teammates shown by the fact Johnny Gaudreau still tagged him in his Chris Snow Trickshot Challenge video.
One final thing,
Oh my god, look how handsome this man is.
by Konnie (@konnie49)
Stephane Yelle
Stephane Yelle was the first hockey player that I truly loved that wasn’t a star. Obviously swept up in the post-2004 bliss, names like Iginla and Kiprusoff were who everyone wanted to be. But when I looked at the Flames roster, it was ol’ Sandbox that I resembled most – someone who just threw grit at every shift to cover up a lack of natural talent. Playing hockey games in gym at school growing up, I became valuable by using my body to break up any potential offence for the other team, and would just wait for anyone who knew how to stickhandle to show up and save me from five more bruises from blocking shots. I had a purpose, and it was to be as suffocating as Yelle.
The fact that he nearly made it to 1000 games is incredible, and I loved the 339 games he spent with Calgary. I was inexplicably proud when he was named an alternate captain, and got very angry at Owen Nolan taking his number 11 in 2007-08. (It’s okay now though because the best player in the whole damn league wears 11 for the Flames and is also the best alternate captain so things got better). I’m glad he won two Stanley Cups because it’s nice to know that some players I cheer for can actually win it all.
By Nathan (@Hanoten)
Chris Clark
I was a very stupid child. I saw someone on the Flames also named Chris who wore my favourite number (7- he had to give it up to Chuck Kobasew of all people and switched to 17, which is not as cool but also cool because it has a 7 in there) and thought that’s my guy. I don’t have any Chris Clark memories left, but his name lights up the parts of my brain that typically light up when I think of good things, so perhaps I am still stupid.
Again, no memories, but I still do have my Flames “Reading… Give it a Shot!” bookmark that I got for reading/lying about reading 600 minutes in grade three. It says his favourite food is steak, his quote to live by is “Never Give Up and Follow Your Dreams,” and his first job was delivering newspapers. He also says his favourite vehicle is a ‘69 Corvette, which is either a sincere answer or a great joke he snuck by everyone. I choose to believe the latter.
I also still have a legal* copy of NHL 2003, a game where Chris Clark was good for no real reason other than the game feature that just lets you slow down time and do crazy dekes with literally anyone. It was fun to deke around everyone and pot an easy goal with ol’ reliable #17. I put him on the same line as Iginla and rode them into 100 goal seasons because it was fun to make my favourite players score goals. Children’s brains are extremely simple and fantastical things. Kids my age were imagining themselves as the protagonists of Star Wars or Harry Potter’s cool best friend who also was the chosen one. I was stupider and loved hockey. All I wanted to see was my cool friend Chris Clark score 100 goals in a video game. Hell yes.
I can’t remember it, but there was necessarily a point in my life where I thought Chris Clark, now that’s a dude I love remembering. What were his stats like again? and discovered, for the first time in my life, that Chris Clark sucked big time. It did not deflate me. I still love Chris Clark. Fun name to say, too.
-tibs (@decayinwtheboys)
Karri Ramo
I am forever a goalie apologist, some would say to a fault, but I am not one of those people. Goalies are just better. Better people. If you are a goalie, congratulations on your higher echelon of humanity. If you’re not a goalie, well…why am I wasting my time with you in the first place?
So while Karri Ramo wasn’t the greatest netminder to strap on the pads for the Calgary Flames - quite far from it, in fact - he was fine. He was better than fine. We’ve already established this.
And no, I’m not one of those rubes that like Ramo because I thought Jonas Hiller was awful. Jonas Hiller is in the top 10 of all-time Flames goalies, and probably higher up that list than you would think. I just thought Ramo was fun. The Flames had a hard time moving on from Miikka Kiprusoff, and while Ramo was never going to live up to the gargantuan shoes left behind by our favourite Finnish woodsman, he did a much better job than I thought he was going to.
Also, I made this terrible picture once and I still love it:
(Brian Elliott was good too. Fuck you)
by floob (@itlooksreal)
Corban Knight
Here is a name almost everyone had completely forgotten.
When the Flames initially acquired Knight for a 4th rounder from the Panthers, I was actually pretty hyped. It seemed to that the Flames were able to find a diamond in the rough and it only cost them a late-round pick to do so. Then when I started to read blogs regarding the upcoming season, I happened to stumble on a Bleacher Report article regarding the darkhorse Calder Trophy candidates and say that the Flames’ freshly signed rookie was #1. Then I was really hyped. To the point where I would say that he could be a top-six centre that the Flames could really need.
Next season comes around and Knight plays seven games, doing absolutely nothing. Oh, okay. Well, he is still pretty young so he might do well in the AHL. That he did, recording 44 points in 70 games. Maybe next year is his year!
Next year was not his year. After playing a measly two games for the Flames, he was sent down again to the AHL, where he was as average as you can get before getting traded back to Florida for Devin Shore, who was immediately a more effective player than Knight ever was.
Oh well, it seems as though I had put in a lot of faith into a prospect that I had never watched in college and was just regurgitating all the praise of what I read online.
No matter! For that brief summer, Knight was part of the help that was coming to finally take this franchise from the rebuild to sustained success, and little Kon can always have that in his memories when times were a lot simpler.
As a bonus, the man is still playing at a high level and producing pretty well for Avangard Omsk in the KHL. That’s more than you can say about other overhyped college prospects! Shame he has to live in Siberia though.
by Konnie (@konnie49)
Josh Jooris in his second and final season with the Flames
I love JoJoo. Hell, I gave him that nickname and he rewarded me with a personal DM on Twitter the day he left town thanking me for the support over his tenure in Calgary. I still strongly believe if Hartley had adjusted his tactics to play a style conducive to creating long-term value that Jooris would have excelled like he did in his rookie season. Instead, his impacts cratered, still being a replacement-level play, but nothing to the fabled fanaticism I had indoctrinated myself in. I miss you, JoJoo. I hope Switzerland is treating you nicely.
by Mike (@mikepfeil_)
Brandon Bollig
I have a very specific reason why I like Bollig and it’s for this reason only. No, it’s not because he was a child actor (although that may subconsciously play a part of it, also I feel like we as a community do not discuss that enough). I went to warmups with a sign that said “Please pay my tuition” like, 5-6 years ago, or however long it was. Most of the players saw it during warmups and had a bit of a chuckle. This part isn’t relevant, I just wanted you all to know that I made them all laugh so I’m more powerful than you. Anyways, we were getting it signed again after the game and Backlund said they saw my sign and all loved it, again this part isn’t relevant but Backlund likes me better than any of you and you need to know that so you can move on with your lives. Whenever a player would see it and sign it and they’d have a lil chuckle, I’d be like “It’s just a joke!” Spoiler alert: it was not a joke, so if any player is reading this and wants to now pay off my student loans, please contact me.
It got to Bollig so I did my whole “It’s a joke!” and he goes, “What’s a joke?” and I’m like, “Oh, the sign.” And he went, “Yeah, what’s the joke?” so I said, “Oh there’s no joke, actually. So if you have like 10k lying around..” And he laughed. So that was my reason but now as I type this out I realize he never gave me that $10,000. I’m too lazy to change the player, sorry.
by Ramz (@RaminaShlah)
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Andrew Mangiapane Needs To Be Shown More Love
🎵 When you can't score a goal/and you're in a 2-0 hole/play Andrew more-ay 🎵
By Christian (@decayinwtheboys)
The common complaint about the Flames coaching thus far in the first fifth of this frustrating season is the way Geoff Ward does and doesn’t use his bench. People are complaining about this for the following reasons:
Usage is the easiest thing for fans to bitch about because the perceived wrong player being on the ice at the perceived wrong moment is visually obvious and can be recognized instantly, unlike the more consequential aspect of systems play which requires repeated viewings, tracking of all players on-ice, higher knowledge of hockey tactics, understanding of the opposition, the nuance to differentiate between a player flaw and a system flaw, and the patience to go through that process over the course of a significant sample of games to see patterns emerge.
There’s also easier answers for usage than systems. Play this guy more. Play that guy on the first line. It’s a fun but pointless exercise to feel smarter than hockey men. I enjoy doing it too, and I’m going to be doing it in this article, so I’m not here to shame people.
Hockey results are often reduced to the point where games are written off to one or two moments, so when the Flames have lost more games than fans expect them to, usage is the most visible factor (especially now that the Flames have a goalie beyond criticism).
Even factoring in all the discursive elements that elevate usage to the point where it’s the end-all, be-all of coaching, Ward’s deployment is still bizarre.
The focus (at least from the perspective of someone who reads Twitter a lot) is on Sam Bennett and Milan Lucic, two pretty obvious scapegoats. Both are not suited for their roles (Lucic, PP2 and extra attacker situations; Bennett, pretty much anywhere, but especially in the top six), both continue to play them.
But I don’t think that’s the issue with Ward’s usage. The unsatisfying coaching rationalizations for these moves are, in my opinion, not that egregious. Lucic gets powerplay time because he is that big net-front presence (that hurt to type) which can help with screens, and if you load up your PP1 with all your best offensive players, you’re going to have to put a lesser player on the PP2. Given his trade/change of scenery demand/request, it’s probably wise to try and showcase Bennett to see if you drum up interest. I’m not sure it will work, but hey, he scored against Edmonton.
I can live with those things. From reading the tweets, some people can’t, but I would propose to them that they need to concentrate their energy on the real problem: it’s not Lucic and Bennett playing above their capabilities, it’s Andrew Mangiapane playing way below his.
The Flames have been looking for an additional offensive wizard for the top six, ideally one who can play both wings, and they have one in Mangiapane. They appear to not know that just yet. Even though the boxcar stats aren’t there yet, I don’t think I’m exaggerating. So far this season, Mangiapane ranks first in the following categories among Flames forwards at 5v5 through 12 games:
Corsi for% (59.04%) and Corsi for per 60 (66.24)
Fenwick for% (61.72%) and Fenwick for per 60 (53.40)
Shots for % (60.81%) and shots for per 60 (37.26)
Expected goals for% (70.64 (!!!!!)), expected goals for/60 (3.06), and expected goals against/60 (1.27)
Scoring chances for % (63.85%)
High-danger scoring chances for % (71.70%), and HDCF/60 (15.73)
So, in summary, Mangiapane is not only leading the Flames in nearly every single underlying metric around, he is putting up ridiculous numbers doing so. If you can be consistent, you will score goals, or at least put your team in a better position to score one. That’s what the Flames could use. Now, let’s look at where he ranks with regards to ice-time for forwards in various situations (on a per game basis):
5v5, all scores: sixth (12:04/gp)
5v5, tied: seventh (3:46/gp)
5v5, trailing: eighth (5:00/gp)
5v5, down one goal: seventh (2:38/gp)
Powerplay: seventh (1:37/gp)
Empty net: sixth (1:16 total TOI, 19 seconds per game where the Flames have pulled the goalie)
So we have the Flames’ best driver of offence (without sacrificing defensive play, I should add) who is not only being restricted on ice in all circumstances, but he’s not being played in situations where the Flames need offence the most. That’s not good!
Even in last night’s 3-2 win against the Jets, Mangiapane scored a goal, had a team-leading 82.61CF% and 92.27xGF%, but played the fifth least 5v5 minutes out of any forward in a very close game (13:16, Lucic, fourth line below him). I can’t guarantee anything, but I think the game may have been decided sooner had he been bumped up the rotation.
The unsatisfying coach rationalization possibly has to do with his linemates, in a few different ways. Mangiapane’s not having bad shooting luck, personally shooting 20%, but he has a pretty lousy on-ice SH% at 5.56 (fourth-worst on the team), perhaps giving the impression that while he can score, his line isn’t good at it and thus he has to sink with the ship while the more trusted names get the opportunity in clutch moments.
And now that the Mangiapane-Backlund-Lucic line has been driving the bus for the Flames recently, it’s likely that they don’t get broken up for the time being, or possibly ever knowing Geoff Ward. It’s a shame since Mangiapane deserves the ice time, and Johnny Gaudreau and Sean Monahan could have a great winger to help blast their numbers into the stratosphere, and Bennett appears only to be there until he gets a plane ticket to somewhere else.
The counterargument here is that the Flames have three lines that all have lethal players on them, and breaking them up to give Mangiapane a chance could have a butterfly effect on the rest of the lineup. Last year’s Flames were very top-heavy and frequently had to rely on one line at a time to get anything out of their games. Loading up with Mangiapane could spread the Flames too thin, and breaking that chemistry he already has with Backlund to force some with Monahan/Gaudreau could really blow up in the Flames’ face.
But there’s also the added benefit that perhaps someone else gets a shot to prove themselves, namely Josh Leivo. While researching this article, I found that Leivo has Mangiapane-esque stats (no, seriously) and could perhaps also find a fit with Backlund. It really couldn’t hurt to give that a spin for a few games and see if you can make something happen.
We’ll have to wait and see if all this changes in the near future. Perhaps the newest version of the 3M line (I propose we call them 3M, 3Furious), will become a de facto second or first line by getting some more ice. Maybe Ward rewards Mangiapane for his good work and puts him on PP1 or during extra attacker situations. Perhaps that Bennett move finally happens and a spot opens up in the top six, or perhaps the 32nd attempt at Top Six Sam Bennett is squashed and he moves back down somewhere else.
Something has to happen, Mangiapane’s too good to be stuck to the bench as often as he is. This won’t fix everything magically, but it’s a major step in the right direction.
Up Next Week
The Flames play the Canucks and only the Canucks from here until next Friday. The team we stole all of our players from hasn’t won since January, and have looked downright dreadful in their last few games. This is either a good time to bag some easy points, or completely blow it. Either option is possible when you’re playing Calgary Flames hockey.
Sam Bennett trade watch is still ongoing. As savvy investors, we know this means the market is heating up.
We’ve been acquired by Bell Media, which means that this space may or may not be replaced with a Spotify playlist of inoffensive 90s jams next week. Now here’s Green Day.