ScorchStack Issue #102 - “It’s ah-me, Milanio!”
We didn't have an issue last week cause we helped ramz move. Scorchstack are all #allies.
Was thinking about it the other day and feel like now is the time to declare it as Scorchstack has these things first: Calgary wins their first game of the season. Gonna even throw some cash down on that one. So say we all.
What’s inside?
We banished summer student Krayden as a sacrifice for Kadri, but his dad pulled us into his office and said we couldn’t do that, so please welcome the debut of prospect writer Krayden.
Are you thinking about preseason? Don’t bother, Mike already has the good and only thoughts you need for preseason.
Konnie previews the Cody Eakin PTO.
KonnieNathan previews theCody EakinSonny Milano PTO, but gave it the kind of effort that a PTO deserves.KonnieNathanAlso Nathan previews theCody EakinSonny MilanoMichael Stone PTObut gave it the kind of effort that a PTO deserveslook you’ll figure it out.
Since last issue
Flames went to British Columbia and came back with nothing. Alberta sovereignty now!
Adam Ružička got signed, which meant another round of people screaming “Summer of Brad” for a guy who literally just did his day job.
This was pretty tight.
Prospect Writer Krayden Takes in The Penticton Young Stars Tournament
We're sorry, his dad is head of business and expansion here
by Prospect Writer Krayden, formerly Summer Student Krayden
Hi everyone!
I’m Prospect Writer Krayden, formerly Summer Student Krayden. I’m still in school, but I earned (ed. note: sure Krayden) a promotion to one of the lead beats for the Scorchstack. I’m covering prospects for the #1 Calgary Flames newsletter!
This weekend, the Young Stars Tournament took place in Penticton, BC. The Tournament typically features the Calgary Flames, the Edmonton Oilers, the Vancouver Canucks, and the Winnipeg Jets. The Tournament used to feature the San Jose Sharks, but the Winnipeg Jets replaced them (ed. note: Krayden this is not true. The Winnipeg Jets replaced the Anaheim Ducks in 2011, and San Jose stuck around for 2011 and 2013. We talked about this, you have to fact check, you aren’t an established PHWA scribe). The Tournament format is that each team plays each other once. (ed. note: Krayden surely they teach you at SAIT or whatever that you should not start three sentences in a row all the same) There is no prize but the glory of wearing the NHL uniform and beating your rivals.
However, the Calgary Flames did not beat any of their rivals in this year’s edition of the Penticton Young Stars Tournament. In fact, they lost all of their games. Here’s a prospect writer’s take on the events.
Game 1: Calgary Flames (0) vs. Vancouver Canucks (3)
The Flames did not bring their A-game to Game A (ed. note: no) of the Penticton Young Stars Tournament. One problem with the team? They couldn’t score!
This is what I was yelling at my TV during the game! If the Flames were to win, they needed to score goals. It raises a lot of problems that the Flames prospects have trouble putting pucks in the net.
Game 2: Calgary Flames (1) vs. Edmonton Oilers (3)
In this game, the Flames did score a goal, a seeing-eye-shot (ed. note: Krayden do you know what this means? Like if we put a gun to your head and said describe what this means, would you still be here?) from Jack Beck.
However, the Oilers scored more, and the Flames lost 3-1.
Intermission: Krayden’s best tweets
Game 3: Calgary Flames (3) vs. Winnipeg Jets (5)
I did not watch this game out of respect for the Queen’s funeral. I didn’t have to work or go to school, but it was fitting to pay tribute to Canada’s Monarch by watching the coverage of the funeral instead.
However, hockey was tempting me, with a lot of this happening:
However, the Winnipeg Jets scored more, and the Flames’ prospects left the tournament winless. I look forward to covering the Flames’ prospects more on the Wrangler Beat this season!
— Prospect Writer Krayden
Mike Thoughts: It’s Pre-Pre-Preseason Time!
I have washed my “Big Preseason Hockey Guy” shirt and will only be wearing it until October
by Mike (@mikeFAIL)
The first “normal” training camp in what? Two or three years? Wow, where has the time gone? [vivid flashbacks in sepia-tone rush forward, screaming, crying, imagery of being trapped inside my house for several years, a constant loop of me playing World of Warcraft Classic to pass the time, remembering the time when I watched a 40-year-old man in a Sobeys steal toilet paper out of a woman’s shopping cart at the onset of COVID]
Oh, right. Well, that means I’ll need to indulge myself extra this training camp/preseason.
This is the rare occurrence where I have a general interest in the preseason process after ridding myself of that brain parasite several seasons ago. It turns out that for a brief period of time my entire life revolved around the Calgary Flames (circa 2014-15 - 2019) and then I got a girlfriend so for all you obsessive Flames fans looking to add more dimension to your life, try a spouse or a partner! Or, well, a hobby.
Anyway, here are all the things I’m excited about during this pre-preseason:
Jakob Pelletier making the team? Yes, Scorchstack is calling it early.
Everyone melting down about the likes of Cody Eakin, Clark Bishop, Trevor Lewis, and I guess Brett Ritchie getting ample playing time in the preseason. I love this sort of stuff because hockey fans love shitting their pants online during preseason hockey. Play all of them and Nic Meloche on a 4F-1D power play in the preseason.
The possibility of obsession over players like Walker Duehr or Adam Klapka being dark horses to make the team. Anyone could be this team’s next Josh Jooris, even you!
Sonny Milano who is canonically Italian like Adam Ružička. He has neat hair, is decent enough at hockey to hang at a high level amongst the likes of Trevor Zegras, and could be a perfect fit for the top nine of this roster. If the Flames don’t sign him, get Milano to say “It’s ah-me, Milanio!” when he signs a contract; then I will fight everyone who robbed us from this.
Must credit Scorchstack for using the phrase listed above.
Mikael Backlund likely wearing the ‘C’. Just fucking do it already.
MacKenzie Weegar breakout passes and shutting down zone-entry attempts. Perhaps signing him to a nice $6.5M AAV, eight-year contract would look great any day now.
The reality that meaningful hockey is weeks away, but the team’s performance two periods into the season will be over-analyzed causing me much disdain for the sport which ultimately annoys me to no end.
Mariners’ playoff baseball coinciding with the start of the Flames’ regular season? Only Scorchstack could have manifested this.
It’s Brett Ritchie’s World and We’re All Living in It, Unfortunately
Brett Ritchie is a fourth line hockey player who has decent underlying metrics, can’t score, and hits (or fights) people. Glad we could clear that up. It’s not like we need to use a lot of oxygen over-analyzing Brett Ritchie anymore than we do as a society.
Never forget.
Thoughts and Prayers, Mike Smith
He failed his preseason physical and the realization that there will be no Mike Smith in the Oilers’ net, letting in shots from center-ice is a heartbreaking reality. Senescence comes for us all eventually and Smith is no exception to the rule.
Thanks again for ruining Jarome Iginla jersey retirement night, dirtbag.
Eddie Kingston Rules
Watch all of this and tell me that this isn’t important. Hockey could benefit more from all 32-teams having an Eddie Kingston on their roster.
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We are serious about this.
Cody Eakin signs a PTO, what does this mean for the Flames?
Will this result in Ružička being sent down? Will Sutter want a more veteran presence in his bottom six?
by Konnie (@konnie49)
The NHL season is just around the corner, with Friday being the first official day of training camp coming next week. As such, teams are starting to invite players to attend their camps on PTOs, and the Flames had just done that by bringing in Cody Eakin. So who is this ginger-haired centre that the Flames brought into the organization? How does he fit into the Flames’ plan and what can Flames fans expect from him? Let’s take a deep dive.
What kind of a player is Cody Eakin?
He is an old centre who sucks.
How did he do on his previous team?
Not really well.
What should we expect from him?
Not much of anything really.
What does this PTO mean for a youngster like Adam Ružička?
Doesn’t really affect him at all.
Where does Eakin fit into the Flames’ plan for the season?
He doesn’t.
Does Eakin bring a veteran presence to this team?
Kind of.
Does he have a shot at making the lineup?
No.
Why is Cody Eakin coming to the Flames on a PTO?
Warm body at skirmishes.
Cody Eakin Sonny Milano signs a PTO, what does this mean for the Flames?
Will this result in Ružička Pelletier being sent down? Will Sutter want a more veteran presence in his bottom middle six?
by Konnie (@konnie49) Nathan (@hanoten)
The NHL season is just around the corner, with Friday being the first official day of training camp coming next week. As such, teams are starting to invite players to attend their camps on PTOs, and the Flames have just done that by bringing in Cody Eakin Sonny Milano. So who is this ginger curly-haired centre winger that the Flames brought into the organization? How does he fit into the Flames’ plan and what can Flames fans expect from him? Let’s take a deep dive.
What kind of a player is Cody Eakin Sonny Milano?
He is an old youngish centre winger who sucks was actually pretty okay last year, but you would also look okay next to Trevor Zegras so there’s that.
How did he do on his previous team?
Not really well. Actually, yeah.
What should we expect from him?
Not much of anything really. Maybe he makes the team, maybe he doesn’t. There’s a spot for him to win.
What does this PTO mean for a youngster like Adam Ružička?
Doesn’t really affect him at all.
Where does Eakin Milano fit into the Flames plan for the season?
He doesn’t just might? Or he could only be here for preseason.
Does Eakin Milano bring a veteran presence to this team?
Kind of.
Does he have a shot at making the lineup?
No. Maybe!
Why is Cody Eakin Sonny Milano coming to the Flames on a PTO?
Warm body at skirmishes. Winger depth could be better.
Cody Eakin Sonny Milano Michael Stone signs a PTO, what does this mean for the Flames?
Will this result in Ružička Pelletier Välimäki being sent down? Will Sutter want a more veteran presence in his bottom middle six defence?
by Konnie (@konnie49) Nathan (@hanoten)
The NHL season is just around the corner, with Friday being the first official day of training camp coming next week. As such, teams are starting to invite players to attend their camps on PTOs, and the Flames have just done that by bringing in Cody Eakin Sonny Milano Michael Stone. So who is this ginger curly brown(?)-haired centre winger defender that the Flames brought into the organization? How does he fit into the Flames’ plan and what can Flames fans expect from him? Let’s take a deep dive.
What kind of a player is Cody Eakin Sonny Milano Michael Stone?
He is an old youngish old centre winger defender who sucks was actually pretty okay last year, but you would also look okay next to Trevor Zegras so there’s that will never die, and you should fear him.
How did he do on his previous team?
Not really well. Actually, yeah.
What should we expect from him?
Not much of anything really. Maybe he makes the team, maybe he doesn’t. There’s a spot for him to win. Nothing less than perfection.
What does this PTO mean for a youngster like Adam Ružička?
Doesn’t really affect him at all.
Where does Eakin Milano Stone fit into the Flames plan for the season?
He doesn’t just might? Or he could only be here for preseason. will answer the call when needed, and bide his time in the shadows otherwise.
Does Eakin Milano Stone bring a veteran presence to this team?
Kind of. Without a doubt.
Does he have a shot at making the lineup?
No. Maybe!
Why is Cody Eakin Sonny Milano Michael Stone coming to the Flames on a PTO?
Warm body at skirmishes. Winger depth could be better. Forever a Flame means forever.
Up Next Week
Krayden gets a promotion? Good lord.
We laugh at everyone laughing over how bad the preseason is going to go. They’re a win-now team! They have no prospects! Still gonna win the first real game of the season though.