Hahaha. Hee Hee. Hehehehe. Ha. Hahahaha. LOL. lmfao. Ha! Heh. Ahahahaha. ROFL. Heehahahahaha.
Oh no.
The Week of: October 31st - November 6th
Results From Past Week: Do you want to read this part? How do we feel about calling these “results”? Are you sure you want to do this to yourself?
Let’s just rifle through this. The faster this is over the better.
Your Calgary Flames played the Seattle Kraken. They lost. The Flames then played the Nashville Predators. They lost. The team finished the week and their 8 game homestand with a game against the New Jersey Devils. They lost.
I love being succinct.
Flames Overall Record: 5-4-1, 11 pts
Standings: 5th place in the Pacific Division, 9th in the Western Conference. 9th??? Imagine something as inconsequential as a 4 game losing streak just dropping you right out of a playoff spot. It’s easy if you try.
Soundtrack: You Are Not My Friend - Frenzal Rhomb
Darryl Sutter to Mikael Backlund, Milan Lucic, Roons, etc, etc.
Funny Big Bang Theory Clip Of The Week:
As always, you have the power to make this go away, you just need to make it worth our while. Let’s see what you bring to the table.
What We Liked:
The best thing that happened this week is that I can keep this section short.
Here’s what we liked this week: not much!
It’s important to keep in mind during stretches like these is that we’re only 10 games deep into the season, so there’s no reason to panic yet; it is far too early for that. Yes, it’s a brutal week, and from a fan standpoint, no part of what you saw this week was worth your time. But if you’re finding yourself concerned about Jonathan Huberdeau’s production, or the inability to hold a lead, or seeing the team veterans get benched, don’t be. At least not yet. Give it another 10-15 or so before you allow The Panic to set in. These things balance themselves out over the course of a long season, and the Flames are indeed a better team than these results dictate, so things should turn around.
Still though, woof, what an ugly week.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
This all being said, this week was so bad that almost nothing that happened on ice was particularly redeeming. Take your pick here, it’s kind of a Choose Your Own Misery day on the Big Monday Thing. Defensemen injuries. Benching Mikael Backlund for seemingly no reason. The inability to keep the puck out of the net. Something else. Something blegh. Another thing hyungh. Lots to think about here.
Whichever one you hated the most, guess what? You win!
Enemy of the Week:
Hell, it might be the Scotiabank Saddledome, the way things have been going. Maybe NHLers don’t want to play in that building after all.
What Comes Next:
Perhaps coming at the most opportune time, the Flames head out east for three games this week far from home, with a game against the New York Islanders, a rematch with the New Jersey Devils, and a tilt with the Boston Bruins, the only team to take an L worse than the Flames this weekend.
That’s a tough slate right there, but a strong performance in Eastern Time might galvanize the whole squad a little bit, and maybe they return to Calgary on Saturday for their game against the Winnipeg Jets feeling refreshed and refocused on the little things that dictate success.
If they don’t, THEN it’s time to panic.
The NHL Player Safety Bias Of The Week:
Sweet, beautiful angel and former Flame Matthew Tkachuk was suspended for two games because of an alleged high stick to Los Angeles Kings goaltender Jonathan Quick, and OH BOY, the fix is in.
Matthew Tkachuk is a sweet, lovable broth of a lad and would never do anything to hurt anyone. You can’t high stick a goalie, everyone knows that!
This sure feels like a conspiracy to me. Please save our darling boy from all this corruption.
No, I did not watch the play, why do you ask?
Unrelated Fact:
For large swaths of my life, I would identify as something called a “New York Jets fan”, which I assure you is a real thing. There were dozens of us. As the years went by, the team’s own dismal performance and the general unpleasantness of the NFL in general gradually stripped away my capacity to enjoy any of it, and I watched less and less Jets football year after year.
Two seasons ago, the Jets had the chance to do something incredible: finish the year with an 0-16 record. That broke through, that one captivated me. I eagerly tuned in every week as the team seemed to be taking destiny by the horns. This special milestone felt inevitable, and I was excited to witness it. And then they fucked it up. Against all odds, they came away with wins in Week 16 and 16, ensuring a 2-14 record on the season, and I decided I was done with football forever.
And now the Jets are good? How did I not see this coming?
See You Next Week:
Daylight Saving or whichever this one is made it so I had to stay up an extra hour to think about all of this, and I think it shows. I am so tired.