The Big Monday Thing - So How About You, What's Going On These Days?
losing streaks are bad because they force me to take stock of my own life, and I'd prefer not to do that
There’s a simple formula that I’ve been following this season that I find has borne fruit when it comes to your Calgary Flames. When the game goes into overtime, I expect them to lose. If they come out unscathed and arrive at a shootout, forget about the overtime thing, but I figure the team is going to win. If the Flames lose in regulation, I expect them to lose. In just about any other scenario, that’s the sweet spot baby.
Anyway, what happened this week, I didn’t really see anything but I’ll bet it went great.
The Week of: December 6th-12th
Results From Past Week: Uh oh!
Flames Overall Record: 15-7-6, 36 pts
Standings: 2nd place in the Pacific Division, 3rd in the Western Conference. Hmmm. Gulp.
The Anaheim Ducks have played a couple of more games than our hometown heroes, but it’s still, I don’t know, vexing to see that Orange County swine standing alone at the top of the Division. A four game losing streak will send everyone spiraling down a real wacky path.
Soundtrack: Wandered To LA - Juice WRLD ft. Justin Bieber
I picked this track because it was released on the same day as the Flames’ last victory, a 4-3 shootout win over the Anaheim Ducks. I know that doesn’t seem that long ago, but please take this time to realize that Juice WRLD passed away tragically on December 8th, 2019, and dead people don’t release new music, so this losing streak is mind blowing.
Anyway, thanks for the TimBiebs, Justin.
What We Liked:
This is going to feel like empty calories in the midst of what is currently the worst losing streak all year, but even despite the recent spat of defeats, the Flames are never truly out of the game. While score effects were certainly up to their old tricks against the Sharks and Bruins, they were constantly generating offense, a far cry from versions of this team in the past.
While more 2015 laden Flames teams found ways back into games while trailing, that was always due to some unsustainable smoke and mirror trick, and all the stores that sold those materials shut down during the pandemic. I don’t think they’re coming back. This requires the Flames to find some new ways to pass the time, and while the results are not swinging their way lately, their output is far more sustainable, so it’s only a matter of time before the Ls turn into Ws.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
/gestures vaguely at everything
Let’s just say the San Jose game, because once that train got rolling, you could tell there was no way off the track. Once Erik Karlsson did Erik Karlsson things and reduced the Sharks deficit to a goal, didn’t it just feel like everything was over?
That’s a pretty rare turn of events this year, but the Sharks are not a great team, and successful franchises don’t have this happen to them. Again, it’s not even like the Flames put in a particularly dismal performance, but like, man, you just gotta win that game.
Enemy of the Week:
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Except the more they stay the same, the bigger and more pronounced they get, and the puck gets knocked away by a defender the split second it’s about to cross the goal line three times in one game.
What Happens Next:
Lucky for the Flames, the team returns to some friendly confines to begin this next 7 day stretch, which is to say, they hit the road and head east, playing the Chicago [redacted] and the Nashville [should probably also be redacted if we’re being honest]. If ever there was a time to right the ship, this is it. This is a gift. This is Christmas. Especially because after this mini trip, Calgary returns home to play the Toronto Maple Leafs, and we all know what it’s like to endure that fresh hell.
Also they meet up with the Columbus Blue Jackets. I don’t really have anything to say about that.
9th Overall Pick in the 2021 WHL Draft Of The Week:
Oh hey, here he is, the best postion player in the world (the best player in the world is Dustin Wolf. Awoo). I’ve been talking about this all week, but this is the first time I’ve noticed how early in the draft he was selected. The son of our Lord and Saviour is a top ten pick, and I think that’s terrific.
Hopefully he’s a criminally unheralded late rounder in 2024 when he’s eligible for the NHL draft, when the Flames are both at the top of the table in the league and ready to draft the next Iginla legacy in Calgary.
Oh, and yes, in case you were wondering, this is Jerome Iglina’s son.
Unrelated Fact:
I learned the other day that the song “It’s Raining Men” - you know the one, the one where weather patterns develop atop the city and human adult men fall from the sky - was written by Paul Shaffer, the weird, egg shaped piano dork famous for saying “yeah” anytime David Letterman asked him a question.
That’s just about the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.
What if all the men that were raining were all Paul Shaffer? Kinda chnges the tone of the song, doesn’t it?
See You Next Week:
Bob McKenzie is retired now (???), and with all his newfound freedom (?? maybe?), the big man is deciding to commodify his newfound leisure, and that’s why in select Alberta liquor stores, you can now purchase your very own Bobby Margarita, that classic margarita in a can.
Everything about this whole thing mortifies me, but there’s something to be said about not knocking it until you try it. Honestly though, fuck that, why do that when you can outsource it?
That’s exactly what I did, as ramz graciously stepped up to the plate and sampled some Bobby Marg for herself, and as an added bonus, she did it live on our good friend Andrew Berkshire’s Game Over youtube show, the most successful and popular post game talk show around that isn’t named Overtime 2. Are they good? Are they bad? Are they nothing? You’ll just have to watch to find out.