That’s right, sorry friends, but we’re calling wraps on The Big Monday Thing for the 2021-22 season. I’d love nothing more but to press on, but given that the regular season is over, and it’s the Calgary Flames, there simply must be no more hockey to recap and preview. My hands are tied here.
/taps finger to ear
Folks, I’ve just been given some new information.
The Week of: April 25th-May 1st
Results From Past Week:
Alright, let’s rush through this so we can get to some fun. Your Calgary Flames played in 3, truly meaningliess, Dustin Wolf free contests, losing all of them because genuinely, who cares? I don’t even think Darryl Sutter stopped thinking about his new Kubota Tractor for long enough to coach this team out of a paper bag.
We got to witness Johnny Gaudreau’s 40th goal, Calle Jarnkrok curse remain intact, and Matthew Tkachuk entertain us to no end, mostly from inside the penalty box somehow. What an artist.
Nashville Predators goaltender Juuse Saros had to sacrifice his body so that our good friend David Rittich could sacrifice himself to the hockey gods, ensurging an absolutely bonkers 5-4 OT win, which may have contributed to Nashville’s overall position and corresponding first round matchup against the Colorado Avalanche, I don’t know, I haven’t really looked into it.
The team then spent the last two days of the season losing to Minnesota and Winnipeg. Is anyone reading this? We can just move on now, yeah?
Flames Overall Record: 50-21-11, 111 pts
Standings: 1st place in the Pacific Division, 2nd in the Western Conference (but actually 3rd). 111 is the second highest point total the team has accumulated in one season in franchise history. The highest point total the team has ever amassed was in 1988-89, when the Flames earned 117 points, and, it says here, something called The Stanley Cup.
Wonder if that’s a good omen or not.
Soundtrack: Win The Cup - w i l d (???)
kidding, kidding. We’re not in the habit of sharing regional sports themed parody songs by white rappers around here.
Let’s say this week’s song is Forever Your Girl by Paula Abdul, because that was the number #1 track in the world on May 25th, 1989, the same day that Doug Gilmour’s first of two third period goals against the Montreal Canadiens clinched Calgary’s Cup victory. Bit of a jam.
What We Liked:
Extremely cool that the playoffs are about to kick off and the Calgary Flames are apart of them. The team got off to a hot start back in October, and I think many of us thought “it would be cool if they kept this up over the whole season”. Those thoughts were fleeting and they left our brains as fast as they wormed their way in there, but while we were tossing around the seemingly far out notion, a funny thing happened: They did keep it going.
The Flames only went on 3 losing streaks where they didn’t at least collect a loser point, and 2 of those were only 2 game runs. They had 6 winning streaks that lasted 3 games or more, including a 10 game streak in the middle of a torrid covid rescheduling burst. They just kept getting it done, and unlike some surprise teams of the past, this one thrived sustainably.
Having a top like that all score 40 goals and 300 points combined will go a long way, and the trio that started the year as the league’s best ended it that way too. A group of defensemen who shattered our expectations so many times that their excellence became commonplace. A goaltender who flirted with never letting in a goal all season, and a backup who was their to follow suit whenever he was called upon.
This is all to say that what we liked this year was simply the Calgary Flames. We should all be so lucky to have anything in our lives half as consistent as this team, but we don’t, so we have this to enjoy. Let’s go.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
You had Dustin Wolf right there, officially in the lineup, wearing his equipment and a jersey with a Flaming C on it, and we DIDN’T see him play?
I don’t think it’s too dramatic to say that someone should get fired for this. Brad Pascall maybe? What does he even do?
Enemy of the Week:
This one is pretty easy: Anyone who does a “Jamie Benn going down” joke. It’s been like 19 years, people!
The first round matchups are all set, and the Flames have a collision course with the Dallas Stars, and can’t you just feel it coming?
In related news, anyone at the Saddledome who does the wave during the playoffs should be sent a jail I’m sure is in the bowels of the arena.
What Comes Next:
As mentioned, get used to the Dallas Stars, because they’re up next. The Flames are presented with a chance to undo the damage from the series back in 2020 that went down in an empty stadium bubble after a major disruption in the season because of a global pandemic where something called the Tampa Bay Lightning won everything and the Flames and Stars had totally different rosters. The Flames have a chance to get revenge for whatever it was I just said.
New Gaudreau Of The Week:
Ultimately I should be verifying this before I post it, but here, check this shit out:
I’m just going to let you interpret this however you like.
Unrelated Fact:
Julio Rodriguez Dinger Alert:
It took 21 games into his professional career, but it was worth it, because Seattle Mariners future franchise player Julio Rodriguez murdered a baseball collecting his first career home run.
Talk amongst yourselves, I’m just going to watch this over and over.
See You Next Week:
Oh, you better believe it, Jim Mora.