The Big Monday Thing - It's The Thing I Do On Mondays In Case You Forgot
I saw a commercial where it said Pizza 73 makes chicken sandwiches now? This isn't related to anything I'm about to talk about, but how fucked up is that?
I wasn’t going to do it again. I wasn’t going to do it again. I wasn’t going to do it again. I wasn’t going to do it again. I wasn’t going to —IT’S THE RETURN OF THE BIG MONDAY THING!
The Calgary Flames are back at it, a fresh slate, a blank canvas, born anew and rising from their summer slumber to roll through an 82 game season awash with untold opportunities for surprise, disappointment, elation, disappointment, hunger, itchiness, and something called Nikita Zadorov.
By now you know The Scorchstack is an institution around these parts, and the idea of having Flames hockey without The Big Monday Thing is like trying to accumulate all the phenols found in oregano oil but just straight up skipping carvacrol! I heard someone refer to us once that way, and I thought it was very apt.
The Week of: October 16th-23rd
Technically this is the second week of the season and we should have had BMT last Monday, but the Flames only played one game in the first week, and it was while I was away on vacation, and they lost, and also I didn’t want to.
Results From Past Week: Many of you out there said the season opener doesn’t count because the Flames always lose, so if you ignore it, and pretend the real campaign starts on game 2, you’ll be much happier. That’s not true, all the games count, and the Flames lost 5-2 to the rival Edmonton Oilers. They were 0-1. That was their record.
That legitimate and official washout was followed up by what I would consider a far more demoralizing 3-2 overtime defeat to the seemingly pitiful Anaheim Ducks, the first game featuring fans in the Saddledome since I don’t know, I guess at some point in March 2020?
All was not for lost, however, as the Flames kicked off a 5 game road trip with a Jacob Markstrom shutout in Detroit, and an Elias Lindholm hat trick in Daniel Vladar’s first NHL win over Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals. Johnny Gaudreau also notched his 500th career point. Lots of noteworthy things stuffed into one game. Neat.
Flames Overall Record: 2-1-1, 5 pts
Standings: 4th place in the Pacific Division, 8th in the Western Conference. Yep, right in the middle of everything. Thankful for the Flames giving us the most baseline starting point possible for the season’s introductory Big Monday Thing.
Soundtrack: Night Of The Living Dead - Misfits
Because it’s spooky season!
Hey, what happens when you mix Misifts frontman Glenn Danzig with former Flames prospect Keegan Kanzig? I don’t know, but it probably ends up being exactly 6 feet tall.
What We Liked:
All we’ve ever wanted was for Oliver Kylington to be given a chance.
The smooth skating defenseman is a fan favourite around Scorchstack headquarters, even if we have a realistic view of who he is as a player. Indeed, we have enough of a sampling to know he’s never going to be a top dog on his team, but we can’t help but wonder if he’s better than the 7th defenseman designation he seems to get saddled with.
In early returns so far this season, we are right (we’re always right). While Head Coach Darryl Sutter hasn’t entrusted the fourth (fourth?) year rearguard with big minutes yet, he has placed him on the de facto top pairing with Chris Tanev, and so far, it’s working out. Losing Mark Giordano without replacing him with anyone that wasn’t Tanooki Costume Posing As A Statue from Mario 3 Nikita Zadorov meant someone was going to have to step up and be the mobile defenseman on this team, and it makes sense that Kylington is answering the bell.
It’s only a couple of games, and he’s yet to be trusted with special teams assignments yet, but he’s not just lining up against third and fourth lines. He’s playing 17-18 minutes a night, which really only equates to about 4th-5th defenseman territory, but isn’t that kinda what we think he can be if exactly everything breaks the right way?
I don’t know, when Sutter took over last season, there was a brief window where Kylington appeared to be one of Darryl’s Guys, but that was a fleeting moment lost to time. Now, it seems like maybe that experiment could persist as long as it’s successful. Let’s hope that’s what’s happening.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
Boy you would sure love to see some more talent spread across the forward ranks, wouldn’t you? The top line of Lindholm, Gaudreau, and Matthew Tkachuk are absolutely humming (Elias is going to score 800 goals before April ends), but after that, even with some pretty good players scattered in there, there are some rather dispiriting forces at play.
Brett Ritchie is certainly not the guy you want to see trying to compliment a talented pairing in Andrew Mangiapane and Dillon Dube. The latter two both look pretty good, but feel like they’re usually skating shorthanded at even strength with Ritchie in tow. Sean Monahan, Scorch love him, will never regain his scoring prowess when he has to rely on Milan Lucic and Trevor Lewis getting him the puck. I have no doubt that Blake Coleman and Mikael Backlund are going to enjoy playing together, and I think Tyler Pitlick won’t be a complete tire fire lining up next to them, but it sure seems like there’s some growing pains getting there.
None of this is sinking the team, and if the goaltending holds out and the first line keeps shooting the lights out, this won’t seem like the biggest problem in the world, but when does that formula ever work out?
Jack Eichel is coming, but they’ll need to figure something out in the meantime.
Enemy of the Week:
Before the season began, news came down that the Flames radio broadcast affiliate, Sportsnet 960 was scrapping their longtime postgame call in show Overtime. Hosted by Friend Of The Stack Pat Steinberg, all of us here have fond memories of the show, and could breathe poor Patty’s anxieties on the long nights after bad losses where the most unhinged people in the city felt emboldened to pick up their phone and yell through it.
When the Scorchstack learned of Overtime’s untimely demise, we were quick to pick up the mantle. The show provided a valuable service to the Flames faithful in Calgary and beyond, and losing it certainly made it feel like something was missing. That’s why we started what many already believe to be the new standard in postgame call in shows with Overtime 2, hosted on our twitter page right now, and maybe, just maybe, somewhere else in the coming weeks. It’s already a hit, with everyone saying they prefer just listening to us, and will often skip the preceeding game entirely in favour of only hearing our voices and insights. Newly elected mayor Jyoti Gondek is already drawing up plans for a ceremony that presents us keys to the city, and is even considering hiring Konnie as her Chief of Staff.
So that’s why we were miffed when, right before we were about to hit the airwaves after the win against Detroit, we saw this:
Excuse me? Looks to me like someone is trying to harness that Scorchstack heat. You guys had your chance, and frankly, you blew it. Step aside and let some true broadcast professionals show you how this is done, you frauds.
(We still love Patty)
What Happens Next:
Up next for the Flaming C is an infuriating stretch of games that all start before I leave work for the day, finishing off the eastern road trip with games in New York, New Jersey (same thing), and Pittsburgh, before a weekend tilt with Philadelphia that you would assume would also be a road game, but isn’t. NHL schedule makers are drunk. You give them one more expansion team to try to wrap their heads around, and their brains turn into grapes.
Anyway, I have no idea if any of these teams are any good or not, but I assume Lindholm returns to Calgary with somewhere between 25-30 goals.
McDonald’s Canada Sponsored Loss of The Week:
I started noticing these posts in the preseason, and was excited to see them continue on when the games began to matter. These will never not be funny to me. It looks like McDonald’s is paying the Flames to lose.
(McDonald’s, if you are reading this, you can absolutely pay me to lose)
Unrelated Fact:
Y’all checking out Christian’s letterboxd?
See You Next Week:
Everyone’s making a big deal about Alec Bladwin murdering someone on the set of a movie, but like, why how? He used to always kill me when he did his blistering parody impressions of Donald freaking Trump!