The Big Monday Thing - I Only Have To Do This Two More Times
56 games feels like 5600 when the team is Not Good
It’s May 3rd and the Calgary Flames are still playing hockey, what is everyone so upset about?
The Week of: April 26th-May 2nd
Results From Past Week: The boys in red, orange, yellow, and white faced off against the Montreal Canadiens in a must-win contest, and did not win. From there, they beat the Edmonton Oilers in a Should-Probably-Win Contest and then lost to the Edmonton Oilers in who cares. The win was satisfying because beating up on Mike Smith is inherently always funny, and the losses were equally important because it’s tank season, baby.
Flames Overall Record: 22-25-3, 47 pts
Standings: 5th place in the North Division. Guess where I think the Flames are going to be in the standings when the season ends, go on, guess.
Soundtrack: Bring Out Your Dead - Strung Out
I mean, bring out your dead.
What We Liked:
It might be a bit late in the day for all of this to be happening, but the play from Johnny Gaudreau of late has certainly dampened the trade him/he won’t re-sign here chatter that had been previously amped up to more than a loud whisper. And goddamn, thank you for that, because that discourse was always glued to the most dishonest analysis of Gaudreau’s worth, shouted on high from reactionary dipshits who probably would have traded Jarome Iginla for Blake Comeau in 2011.
It’s been a disappointing season for virtually everyone on the team, and Gaudreau is certainly no exception, but the team pays him to put up points, and he’s been doing exactly that. Jonathan Hockey has 12 points in his last 10 games and boasts the 4th best xgF% out of all forwards who have played any kind of significant minutes at all (this means nothing, but during the same span Derek Ryan is in the lead at 73.42. Yowza).
Giving Gaudreau some friends in Matthew Tkachuk and Elias Lindholm has certainly been beneficial to everyone, and there’s no reason to split them up at this point. You can always squeeze more blood from the stone, which is an expression I always thought was weird ever since I heard Caleb Nichols say it on The O.C. in 2003, but it’s probably true in this scenario.
Who knows what happens with Gaudreau in the coming months. For now, it’s just fun to watch him do what he does best.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
R.I.P. Noah Hanifin. Who could have ever predicted that your loss would actually be a pretty big deal? Life’s funny, isn’t it?
In other hurtful news, both Adam Fox and Dougie Hamilton are strong contenders for the Norris Trophy. Everything stings. Everything feels pointy.
Enemy of the Week:
Cheap shot artist Connor McDavid was at it again last week, taking liberties with star players like Milan Lucic -a respected veteran and Stanley Cup champion - and the refs continue to let it slide. The NHL turns a blind eye. It’s disgusting.
A guy like that is only on the ice for one reason and eventually, someone is going to get hurt because of it. I get that a guy like McDavid is a bit of a fringe player, and precision stickwork or well-timed elbows are what he needs to make a name for himself surrounded by all these stars, but the game has long evolved past the need for goons like him, and for the league to not make an example of him by now feels pretty reckless to me.
What Happens Next/We Were Right:
Last week’s prediction:
I predict that the twins from Evolving Hockey will post an easter egg on their newly launched site dedicated to the Scorchstack and that our good friend Aidan will find it
I am so good at this. Called it one week before it happened.
Mercifully, only two games for the Flames this week. You don’t even really need to watch them if you don’t want, although if you’re into tank battles, there is a matchup against the powerhouse Ottawa Senators that, given the way this entire season has shaken out, might bump Calgary into Top 5 draft pick territory. The chase for Dylan Guenther remains!
I’m just going to go ahead and make that my prediction. The Flames are going to lose.
Updated Gritchart of The Week:
You may or may not have been hanging around the Saddlesphere long enough to remember the Gritchart, a colossus punching its way into our hearts all the way back during the 2012-13 Calgary Flames season:
Hello, my old friend, thank you for always being there to ask the important question: what is grit? When your Bob Hartley-coached team is on its way to missing the playoffs for s third season in a row and getting contributions from the Brian McGrattans and Tim Jackmans of the world, these are the only metrics left to find answers in. Corsi is dead, long live the Gritchart.
It turns out our beloved chart has a family, because Sportsnet unleashed its nephew out on the world this past week, giving us the, uh, Balanced Lines Chart!
Sure hope you like shapes! It’s exciting to see the brilliant minds over at Sportsnet still view the nuances of roster construction and player usage the same way Nintendo did in 1988:
Unrelated Fact:
Here is some kid named Tij Iginla scoring a penalty shot goal for the Boston Jr. Eagles U14 team in the USA Hockey Nationals this past week:
This is completely unrelated to Flames hockey. I can’t imagine why fans would be interested in the son of some guy named Jarome having some decent hands as a hockey player. Nothing to watch out for here.
Tij Iginla.
See You Next Week:
Family Feud Canada is holding auditions for the upcoming season. In other news, all of us at the Scorchstack are related and none of us have ever worked for the CBC before.