The Big Monday Thing - Hey Check It Out, It's The Big Monday Thing
So he turns to me and he's like "Zohorna? Buddy, I hardly know 'er" and I was like "I did not ask you to turn to me"
Hahaha, no, of course not, it definitely occurred to me before 11:30 on Sunday night that the regular season had begun, and along with it, Season THREE of The Big Monday Thing.
What a long strange trip it’s been since we last checked in. When we put this feature back in the liquor cabinet at the end of last year’s playoffs (The Big Monday Thing is stored in a liquor cabinet), I was waxing poetic about the long futures Johnny Gaudreau and Matthew Tkachuk were about to embark on with your Calgary Flames to Nathan’s fiancé Jessica and Queen Elizabeth. Both of them commented on my ability to make every single one of my anecdotes feel timeless. I glanced over to my good friend, Blink-182 guitarist Matt Skiba, and we both laughed in harmonious agreement.
We have a good time here. Let’s do some Mondaying, shall we?
The Week of: October 10th-16th
Results From Past Week: Hey, we’ve got some regular season NHL action over here folks! The Calgary Flames were unquestionably the main character of the offseason, and with that story being done and dusted, the locals would love nothing more than to be the stars of the 2022-23 campaign.
And I have to say, they’re off to a pretty good start. The Flames won their home and season opener with a hard-fought victory over the defending Stanley Cup champion Colorado Avalanche, who selfishly look poised to repeat their winning ways. Everyone seemed really relieved to win the first game of the season. Not really sure why, maybe there’s some historical precedent for that. Not looking into it.
Big news for revenge fans! The Flames helped themselves to a small slice of some retribution pie from the cross-town rivals, the Edmonton Oilers, and you’ll have to excuse me for getting a little brash here, but I just can’t help but have some fun at the Oilers expense. Apologies in advance, what I do next might be a little bit crude, but I think it’s appropriate given the circumstances:
Aren’t I the little stinker hahahahaha. Put the kids to bed before opening this one up friends, it’s a real corker.
Flames Overall Record: 2-0-0, 4 pts
Standings: 2nd place in the Pacific Division, 3rd in the Western Conference. The Vegas Golden Knights have played three games so far. Way she goes.
Soundtrack: “All The Small Things” - Blink-182
The Saddledome PA guy played this one a bunch in the home opener (it might be the goal song? Unclear at this time)
Evidently, this was supposed to make the Colorado Avalanche mad, for reasons that everyone but me seems to know about. Don’t know. But the Flames won, so you sit there and tell me it didn’t work.
Anyway, here’s “Chelsea Dagger”.
What We Liked:
The team is showcasing a whole bunch of new guys for this spin around the sun, and everyone’s wondering if such a big overhaul of player personnel has left the Flames with a better team than the one we put to bed back in May.
Well SCOREBOARD, dorks! In two games, Nazem Kadri has three points, MacKenzie Weegar two points, and Jonny Hockey (Jonathan Huberdeau) has an assist as well. So does Roons! Hey, great work Roons.
Nazem Kadri is playing on a line with Andrew Mangiapane and some other guy, and that unit looks like it’s been together for about six seasons. Kadri has fit in seamlessly. Can’t believe he’s a Calgary Flame. What a time to be alive. Huberdeau looks like a goddamn wizard the way he dishes the puck out there. I’m not anticipating a big drop-off in production for Elias Lindholm. Weegar is certainly no slouch either, perhaps slotting himself in as the crown jewel on an already gaudy embarrassment of riches on the blueline (that’s three-point game Michael Stone to you, thank you very much).
Obviously, these are early days, but the returns thus far are tasty.
What We Would Prefer Not To See:
This feels like reaching given how we’re so ridiculously early in the new season, but if I’m going to praise the small sample yields, I simply must critique it as well. The wins, naturally, are going to be welcomed wherever they’re coming from, but if this team considers itself a contender (I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that’s realistic), at times they’re going to have to demonstrate some authority over the best the league has to offer.
The Avalanche and the Oilers, to differing degrees, are going to be among the upper echelon this year, and while getting the victories over both of them is comforting, neither of those games seemed like definitive wins until the final horn popped off. I don’t think anyone would have been surprised if either of those games ended up in overtime (or worse!), and even though they had really strong performances in both games, the great teams can lock it down, even against their equals. I have confidence they’ll start to do that - they truly do look like a very good team early on - but until the results start piling in, we’re all going to be a little reticent predicting Captain Mikael Backlund lifting the Stanley Cup over his head in June.
Enemy of the Week:
The Vegas Golden Knights visit the Saddledome on Tuesday, and with them, their social media team, an open mic night with skates.
These guys tweet out game updates like they’re looking for some FavStar clout, and I’m pretty sure they’re getting it. My only purpose in life is to get this account permanently banned from Twitter, because tweets as bad as theirs have to violate the ToS somehow. I will catch you on the power play, you motherfuckers.
What Comes Next:
Briefly mentioned the Golden Knights, but the bigger story here is that that game kicks off an eight-game (!!!) homestand for our boys in red, including the Buffalo Sabres on Thursday, and the Carolina Hurricanes on Saturday. Flame for life Darryl Sutter mentioned last week that he wants to get backup goaltender Dan Vladař into a game once a week. Which game will that be? Genuinely impossible to say. Ol’ Dar is a bit of a scamp that way.
It’ll be the Carolina game.
Cool Oilers Thing Of The Week:
The Boaring. The BOAR ing? BOA Ring? I don’t know, but it sounds rad.
In the grand tradition of making Edmonton Oilers fans spend their disposable income on something [good], now fans can drop 50 clams in order to wear this gigantic shiny toy on their hand all day, commemorating a second-round playoff victory and letting Flames fans know how owned they are. I can already feel it working on me now and they’re still in the pre-order phase.
from boaring.ca, the merchant for these bad boys:
Never forget May 26th, 2022 when Captain Connor eliminated his provincial rival with a slick wrist shot in overtime!
This is a perfect gift for yourself or any fan to show off to your enemies from the south.
Couldn’t agree more. Many will say that this is for fun and Flames fans making jokes about this ring need a sense of humour, and I agree. I’m going to laugh my ass off the first time I see one of these in the wild.
Unrelated Fact:
I love the Seattle Mariners and I’m very sad.
See You Next Week:
It just dawned on me that if there were to be a name for the header image we’ve used for every Big Monday Thing ever published, it would obviously be Scorchfield. That feels like a bit of a gold mine.