Maybe Mondays aren’t the right day to do the Big Monday Thing. Maybe the Big Monday Thing should find its way to your screen come Wednesday morning. It seems like The Calgary Flames have gifted us some, uh, let’s call it uninspired hockey over the past couple of weeks, but closed each of them out with encouraging wins. I have three brain cells left in my cavernous head, and they are all prone to recency bias, so when I begin this weekly primer, the frayed synapses lodged in my skull start popping off and I think “Hey, pretty good little week the Flames had there,” and then I go back and look at the results and my day is ruined.
If I were to instead check in midweek, when Flames-related ennui is at its peak, I think then we’ll really be cooking with gas.
Here’s the segue: I saw some people get mad about David Rittich doing the headbutt thing after he was yanked against Ottawa. Unprofessional, the people are saying. But these are the same people who will take their family out to a nice restaurant and eye fuck the server, subtracting 10% off the tip if the gaze is met with revulsion, so how much do you really need to listen to these people, anyway?
Let’s review some hockey.
The Week of: February 22nd-28th
Results From Past Week: Your Calgary Flames actually picked up 5 out of a possible 8 points this week, pacing the team to a couple of convincing wins in Southern Ontario. But a frustrating OT loss to the Leafs after giving up the tying goal in the final minute of regulation (and ruining a bid for back to back shutouts for Big Save Dave in the process), and an embarassing 6-1 thrashing at the hands of the generally perceived league worst Ottawa Senators made any progress this week feel hollow.
The wins though, oh the wins. They were very satisfying.
Flames Overall Record: 10-10-2, 22 pts
Standings: 5th place in the North Division. Nothing ever changes around here.
Soundtrack: You and I and George - Rowlf The Dog
Julien Baker released a new album this past week that absolutely destroyed me, but I think we’re going to save a track from that fora future Big Monday Thing, because I recently learned that a family oriented subscription streaming service that is not paying us to endorse them has put the original Muppet Show on their service, and now I’m on a marathon level binge, because the show kicks so much ass and was seemingly locked in a vault for the longest time.
This ballad from Rowlf the Dog is from the very first episode, and it’s absolutely perfect. I was smiling non-stop throughout the duration of the entire show, and this one popped me real good. Nothing is better than a Muppet.
What We Liked: There were actually a lot of positives to touch on this week, with goaltender David Rittich chief amongst them. The Victory Hug Liker has really settled in ever since incumbent starter Jacob Markstrom went out with an injured something (I forget what happened to him). The 6-1 drubbing at the hands of Ottawa aside (there were zero positives to take away from that one. Even the spectacle of Artyom Zagidulin wearing NHL silks for the first time, a thing I was genuinely excited to witness, was robbed from us when he let in an absolutely frightful goal to Colin White in the third period), Rittich looked to have regained the form that made him an All-Star last season, stealing the show in the win against the Leafs, being the only reason why they had a chance to blow a lead in the rematch, and perfectly solid in response to the loss against the Senators.
With an imminent return to the crease for Markstrom, perhaps fears of overworking him are assuaged after the coaching staff regained their confidence in their former starter. When you have a duo as good as the Flames do, you might as well utilize them both.
Also, I’ll just say this, because at this point we could mention him in this space every week, but Andrew Mangiapane is /mama mia hands un giocatore di hockey d'élite.
What We Would Prefer Not To See: I know the knives are out for Geoff Ward, and deservedly so. One maddening thing that he’s made a habit of late is not the principal factor in some disappointing results, but scratching quality players so that fringe hayseends on the taxi squad can get three minutes of ice time is a bigger deal than you might think.
We’re seeing a trend in recent matches of forwards like Elias Lindholm, Mikael Backlund, and Andrew Mangiapane challenging for the team lead in TOI from game to game. Not just forwards - the entire team. That’s practically unheard of.
It makes sense a lot of times to shorten your bench, but the reason why this is happening now is because the coach is voluntarily dressing players he knows he can’t trust in favour of ones he can. We talk all the time about Jacob Markstrom being overworked and fatigued - and in a compact NHL season, where it seems like a game is being played every other day - that concept applies to your skaters as well. You’ll never complain about having your most dependable forwards on the ice more often, but a guy like Josh Leivo is a perfectly serviceable forward that Geoff Ward has no reason not to trust, so why he would take that tool out of his kit is beyond me. If the Flames start to rebound and push for the playoffs down the stretch, they’re going to want the Lindholms and Mangiapanes to be as fresh as possible. Ward knows that. I have no idea why he keeps shooting himself in the foot on purpose.
Enemy of the Week: You know who wasn’t the enemy of the week was Leafs forward Willie Nylander. Sure, he scored both goals in Toronto’s OT win over the Flames on Wednesday, but how can you be mad at a guy who is for sure going to be traded to his hometown club any day now? Couldn’t be us. We love future Flame Willie Nylander. I still can’t believe his tenure as a Calgary Flames is this imminent. Willie Nylander to the Calgary Flames, a trade that is 100% about to happen, will you be able to believe it?
The enemy is, I don’t know, Drake Batherson. I’m pretty sure that’s a made up name, but he still potted a couple against the Flames over the past couple of games, so justice must be served at some point here.
What Happens Next/We Were Right:
Last week’s prediction:
I just have a sense that Dillon Dube is going to go off this week. He’s had a rough go of it this season, and we know he’s better than the sum of his results. Look to him to narrow that gap. Even if he cut his hair. No one approved of that, Dillon.
/shrug emoji
I had to be wrong at some point. Even if it’s past the prediction window, please still prove me wrong Dillon. I know you can.
The calendar has flipped to March, and with it, a continued slew of games against the Senators, albeit with a tilt against the Oilers thrown in for a bit of a palate cleanser. Who knew we’d ever live in a world where we would think about Ottawa enough to grow tired of them? I sure didn’t, but couple that with another solid week of talking about whatever shit it was Keith Tkachuk did like 50 years ago when he played doesn’t help. At what point can we stop focusing on this? I know broadcasters have an inordinate amount of dead air to fill during a game, but hey, I don’t know, politics is in the news again, why don’t you comment on that? Everyone else is.
When are the Tkachuk brothers going to be enough of their own entity that we don’t need to talk about what Grandma thinks about their latest head to head matchup?
Anyway my prediction for this week is that Keith Tkachuk gets the novel coronavirus COVID-19.
Call to Donate Money and Blood Of The Week:
Sens Money On The Board has been a twitter fundrasing campaign since 2013, faithfully directed by Friend of the Scorchstack and a Member of the Royal Order of Sens Sickos, Eric Doty. With the recent, tragic passing of the beloved Brian Fraser, an inspirational Sicko himself, and someone the Ottawa hockey universe has been rallying around in recent months, Money on the Board is going OFF:
This is incredible work, and a worthy tribute to a young man that meant so much to a lot of people in the Nation’s Capital and beyond. If you believe Andrew Mangiapane is going to keep his hot streak going, or that Matthew Tkachuk is going to clown his little brother over the next few games, and if you have the means, you can parlay some of those good feelings into donations for a very worthy cause.
Also hey, donate blood!
Unrelated Fact:
I believe this has been in the zeitgeist enough over the past couple of decades that I’m not exactly breaking any new ground here, but I was thinking about the scenes from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film where you can see the mouths of the actors inside the mouths on the turtle costumes. It will never not creep me out.
This is vile. Sorry.
See You Next Week:
Sportsnet really went all in on Kelly Hrudey popping the button on his jacket. Act like you’ve been there before, Sportsnet.
Free Ramz.