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The return of some bad Flames habits could be costly in the stretch drive towards the playoffs- that’s right, bad at NHLflames tweets
The Flames play in the NHL’s Western conference and accordingly will play games against those teams in the playoffs. Konnie looks at how they all stack up to your Calgary Flames.
Jacob Markstrom got a little bit ticked off last night, but thankfully avoided supplemental discipline. Floob takes you back through the long, illustrious history of Calgary Flames goaltenders who drew the ire of the NHL’s player safety department.
Since last issue
ScorchStack has always been a celebration of Mikael Backlund, but issue 78 was especially that
Big Monday Thing had all the trades before the insiders did. And I’m serious this time!
The Flames acquired someone named Ryan Carpenter, one of the classic random guys they pick up every deadline. We will not be talking about this, by the way.
That came at the expense of Jessica Szohr’s husband, Brad Richardson. It happened too soon for us to grieve properly, so we will also not be talking about this.
The Flames only played three times, blasting past the Devils 6-3 (with a Brett Ritchie goal!) and the Canucks 5-2, but fell victim to the San Jose Sharks who seemingly always have this team’s number.
The Seattle Mariners are currently 1-3-1 in spring training. Did you know you could tie in spring training baseball? That’s pretty neat.
Looks like we're talking about goal vibes again
You thought we were done with. We thought we were done with this.
By Nathan (@hanoten)
Back on January 12, in the illustrious Issue #69 of ScorchStack, I wrote a piece about how every time the Calgary Flames Twitter account asked for folks to send their goal vibes, it doomed the damn team. We explored the concept of xGV and found that the team’s was horrendous. At the time, they have a 0-8-1 record tweeting out some variation of goal vibes. They sent it out again on January 13 because apparently they were too busy to read Scorchstack hot off the presses and lost 4-1 to the perennial powerhouse Ottawa Senators and then they also cost Matthew Tkachuk a spot at the All-Star Game.
And then they stopped, and the Calgary Flames defeated the Florida Panthers 5-1 and that kind of got everyone’s attention. And that began the run that of games where they didn’t tweet out the damn phrase and the team went off, winning 12 of their next 14 and never once saying goal vibes. And then the 7-1 loss to the Vancouver Canucks happened, and they kind of just snuck it in there, but everyone tuned out on that game and wanted to forget about it, so we let it go.
Fine, whatever, they were already down 5-0, we wanted to ensure the streak was truly over and people could salvage their night. I get it. They won a few games more games after that including that big one against the Avalanche in Denver, and everyone played it cool. Life was grand. And then at the end of a stretch of five games in seven days where everyone was surely tired and not thinking as clearly as they could, this happens.
I don’t like it, but it’s understandable. The Calgary Flames were minutes away from getting shutout for the first time this season, and folks were desperate. Things were said. Colorado is a very good team, so we let this one slide.
And then the Buffalo Sabres came to town.
I fully believe this tweet took hold of Jacob Markström and caused whatever the hell happened in that overtime period to come to fruition. You wanted to juice the odds on a game against the Buffalo Sabres?! This is a team that has every right to believe they are a contender this season, and yet they’re tweeting out bush-league nonsense like this.
I am a very superstitious person when it comes to sports. You can make fun of me all you want, but we all watch sports, so what’s a bit more nonsense on top of it? I have a pair of Calgary Flames socks that I believe are cursed and won’t touch on game day. I’ve got routines when I play sports that I have to follow. When I see a pattern emerging, I don’t question it.
I certainly don’t try and hide it using too many hyphens.
We were winning that one! You didn’t have to do that!
The record now sits at 0-11-2, with six goals scored and 21 goals against. It’s grim.
This is a franchise that famously does not like to learn its lesson, so even though the team is better and the coaching is firing on all cylinders and Brad Treliving has been approaching things with a shrewdness not seen since 2015, something had to keep repeating with futility.
The dad jokes the team tweets out every intermission? Fine. Great, even! I raise my eyebrows, sometimes I scoff, sometimes I groan. I move on. The team wins games. Everyone’s happy.
Goal vibes have to stop. This is your last warning, @NHLFlames. You do this in the playoffs, and there you will hear from Scorchstack, Scorchstack, and Diamond.
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How Do these Flames Look Like Against the West?
Could the Flames be the best in the West, or could they be the most mediocre in the Wediocre? I don’t know, you try coming up with tese.
by konnie (@konnie49)
The Trade Deadline is finally past and rosters are pretty much set baring any call ups (Matthew Phillips please), now is a good time as any to see how these fine gentlemen stack up against the Western Conference team. Without any further adieu, lets jump in.
Arizona Coyotes
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Seattle Kraken
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Chicago Blackhawks
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
San Jose Sharks
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Anahiem Ducks
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Vancouver Canucks
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Winnipeg Jets
Lol, these guys suck. Of course the Flames are better than them, they won’t even make the playoffs.
Vegas Golden Knights
All of that money on LTIR, all of their picks traded for player to win now, only to have a 25% chance to make the playoffs. I hope all those burned bridges were worth it!
Dallas Stars
These guys are the most up and down team this year. Either they will have 6 game win streak and look ready to be a dark horse contender, or they are absolutely shit and Rick Bowness looks like he will be fired at any minute. I guess that’s what happens when your best players are young players who are having breakout seasons, while the older players, except for Joe Pavelski, are severely under-performing because the team would rather run them in the ground rather then letting them heal. If the Stars ever get healthy, they could be a problem for the Flames but as it stands now, the Flames are much better.
Edmonton Oilers
The ultimate paper tigers of the league. Unless you have Mikko Koskinen playing out of his mind, this really isn’t a team worth worrying about. Thankfully, its all but guaranteed the Oilers start Mike Smith game 1 of the playoffs.
Los Angeles Kings
When these guys are healthy, They are pretty nice. Philip Danault has been a fantastic addition to their roster, and has been having his best season of his career. A really good shutdown centre is needed for the playoffs and the Kings can potentially have to in Danault and Anze Kopitar (even if Kopitar has transitioned to an easier role as he ages). Not there yet, especially with how banged up and bruised they are but they will be giving the Flames issues in the future.
Nashville Predators
Weird but good team. At the start of the season it seemed that Matt Duchene and Ryan Johansen where poised for career renaissance. While Johansen slowed down slightly, Duchene certainly hasn’t and is still playing lights out for the Preds. Add in Roman Josi absolutely crushing it on the back end, and Juuse Saros being a Vezina calibre goalie this year, this team is damn good. They did give up a shit ton for a shitty defenceman in Jeremy Lauzon though. A less deep team than the Flames are but don’t sleep on them.
Minnesota Wild
Everyone says “Oh don’t sleep on the Wild this year! They are dominant!” and I look at their forward group and respond, “Really?”.
I mean, take a look.
Don’t get me wrong there are some great players here but they are supported by a really weak centre group. Joel Eriksson Ek is great but why is he so far down and playing below Ryan Hartman and Fredrick Gaudreau? How are those two anywhere near the top 6?
Getting Marc-Andre Fluery at the deadline helps a lot to bolster the goaltending, just for their sake they better hope they don’t get the shitty playoff Fluery that people have conveniently seemed to have forgotten. Flames are deeper than this squad.
St. Louis Blues
I don’t get why they acquired Nick Leddy at the deadline and paid so much to get him, but this is a super solid team. Plus this team had an all Russian line at one point that would have made me super happy before February 24th.
I hope Ville Husso forces Jordan Binnington into retirement.
Colorado Avalanche
Best team in hockey and for a reason. Their top 6 rivals none and they have the best defenceman in the league playing on the best defensive pairing in the league. I will admit I wasn’t completely sold on the Avs’ bottom six but neither was Joe Sakic so he got the best player available on Monday in Artturi Lehkonen to shore that up. Josh Manson is okay too I guess.
Only team in the west that actually are clearly better and deeper than the Flames in the league, but the Flames would only play them in the conference finals so its not even a realistic concern for them as of now.
And that’s just a quick rundown of the Western Conference and pin pointing my thoughts on how each team stacks up against our lovely boys in Calgary. Frankly every single one of these teams are capable of causing lasting damage to the hopes and dreams of all Flames fans alike but at least for the first time in forever the Flames are guaranteed to have playoff games in May! Granted that’s only cause the playoffs start late but we should all just take what we can get.
A History of Calgary Flames Goaltender Disciplinary Action
Jacob Markstrom must have had a conservatorship expire recently, because he just let spears loose
by floob (@itlooksreal)
I get that hockey is an emotional sport, and sometimes when cooler heads don’t prevail, it’s hard not to be reduced to your more base instincts, especially when you’re strapped up with multiple implements that can be used as weapons that are required for you to do your job.
That all being said, I genuinely have no idea what Jacob Markstrom is thinking here:
Markstrom had a tough outing last night against the Sharks, and had just let in a fresh stinker, but like…you gotta be smarter than this, man. He’s extremely lucky the officials inexplicably called this a slash, and I’m not entirely sure he’s avoided a meeting with whichever ex-goon runs NHL Player Safety these days, but man, take up meditation or something.
I’m reminded while writing this that Markstrom does have something of a reputation for being dramatic, and while this is very funny, when you’re in your thirties and make millions to play a game for children, you probably need to learn to keep this side of yourself in check. The loss to San Jose is just one game, and Jacob Markstrom is more than doing fine, but you don’t want a Last Year scenario sneaking its way in where he burns himself out and ends up doing something crazy. The Flames have a solution for this. His name is Dan Vladar. He’s pretty good! Vladar will get some starts, and everything will be just dandy.
This did pique my curiosity for looking up niche shit, however, and in this case that means, that’s right, Calgary Flames Goaltender Suspensions. It took some digging to find any kind of half decent database that collects NHL disciplinary action, but right before givng up on any of this, I stumbled upon this kinda cruel, but still overall effective collection at Pro Sports Transactions. I navigated to the 1980-81 season, when the Flames played for the first time on Calgary ice, and turned page upon page over looking for any instance where a goaltender wearing a Flaming C on his chest earned a fine or a suspension.
I’ll be honest, I thought I was going to find an absolute treasure trove of delinquent Saddledome puckstoppers here, but after scrolling through the archives, I only found one instance of a goalie being suspended, and it’s one I already knew about. It’s what EVERYONE already knew about.
Jamie McLennan...my dude.
This incident took place on April 22nd, 2007, which in the grand scheme of things is relatively recent, but when you watch this video, it becomes clear that 2007 was about one billion years ago. Nonetheless, in one shining moment, the man they called Noodles created a little legacy for himself that day.
This was Calgary’s first round matchup against a very good Detroit Red Wings, one the Flames had no business being in a series with, and boy did they know it. This was elimination day, Game 6, which was a really charitable number of matches for them to have been in. Nobody knew that more than McLennan, which is probably why he went into business for himself here. My take on this: I’m fine with it. I remember watching this game, it felt like a foregone conclusion even before the opening puck drop that the visiting team was toast, and by the time Noodles went in, that was succinctly confirmed. Hit ‘em once for me, Jamie.
The coolest thing about this is that McLennan was slapped with a 5 game suspension for his actions here, and technically he still has to serve them, as he basically walked down the ramp in Joe Louis Arena, and right into retirement. He has yet to suit up for a team to wait out his suspension, and obviously won’t because he’s moved onto the second phase of his career in hockey. You kinda have to respect McLennan for avoiding any consequences for his behaviour. He’s a respected analyst on some company that tries to pass itself off as TSN, even though he does not work for The Scorchstack Network. Pierre McGuire is losing his mind over McLennan’s actions in this video; Now, they’re colleagues. Life’s funny.
My absolute favourite part of this is how this clip starts, shortly after Flames starter Miikka Kirusoff is given the rest of the night off, the game no longer in the balance. McLennan takes his spot in the crease, and the NBC broadcast booth talks about what a smart move it is to put him in.
I agree!
If the Flames find themselves in a similarly hopeless pit of despair in this year’s playoffs, Jacob Markstrom, fill your boots. Spear anyone you want. Learn how to box using only your blocker. Tie your skates together and make the world’s sharpest and most unwieldy nunchucks. Who gives a shit? I will cheer you on. Until then, leave the shenanigans to like, I don’t know, Brett Ritchie I guess.
Up Next Week
The Seattle Mariners have spring training games every day this week
A sentimental goodbye to Jessica Szohr’s husband or Jessica Szohr, I haven’t decided yet.
The Flames play the Coyotes, Oilers, and Avalanche. All of these games are going to be stressful for some reason, I don’t know why. Just what the universe is telling me.
Matthew Phillips. Adam Ruzicka. Jakob Pelletier. I’m no longer settling for one of them. It’s time for all of them.