ScorchStack Issue #125 - May they romp joyfully with the Gud?branson meter and our other classic content
Michael Stone retired after most of this issue was made so he will be honoured properly at a later time if we feel like it
Anyone else think it would be funny if the Flames social media team pivoted to the rebuild in the same manner as the way they currently promote the team?
Summertime content baybee.
What’s inside?
The first of the Forever A Real One in our summer series, which is a fun ride.
Kon asks the question we were all thinking but too afraid to say out loud: what the hell is the plan with Yegor Sharangovich?
Finally, we say a single-tear goodbye to the best bits that have left in the offseason, whether by trade or free agency.
Since last issue
The Flames make some picks at the draft and yet not a single one of them was Jade Iginla. So what’s up with that?
Mikael Backlund, ever perfect, won the King Clancy Memorial Trophy Winner. We acknowledge that the awards are made up, but if there was anyone who deserved to be recognized as the NHL’s best human being, it’s our Swedish King.
The ScorchStack Forever A Real One Series: David Schlemko (T-14th)
If you’re like Schlemmers, 19 games is good enough
by Nathan (@hanoten)
Not every candidate into the the Scorchstack Forever A Real One series (different than the Scorchstack Hall of Fame) is going to have a long and storied career with the Flames. Sometimes, lightning strikes real fast and leaves an impression that burns forever. But enough about the wildfires and how many firefighters they have taken down, today we’re talking about David Schlemko.
Schlemko joined the Flames during their infamously miraculous 2014-15 season, where Bob Hartley won the Jack Adams and being in shape meant you could comeback against any team no matter how actually talented they were.
It was the first season for then-GM Brad Treliving, and he was firmly committed to the idea that you could sneak into the playoffs and sell off all your assets, which in hindsight is the ownership’s dream and clearly a red flag. But at the time, comeback fever was hot.
Sven Baertschi? Gone. Curtis Glencross? See ya. Nothing could stop this team from winning games they had no business winning…except for their February 25 match against the New Jersey Devils. Former captain and current Toronto Maple Leafs heel Mark Giordano, who by all accounts was the team’s best player that season, tore his bicep in the win and was done for the season. With such candidates as Kris Russell and Deryk Engelland as the options to replace him internally, the Flames needed to look to the outside for a new hero.
Enter: Schelmko.
Claimed off of waivers during a season-long seven-game road trip, the Flames needed a jolt of life to make the trip a winning one and prolong their unlikely trip back to the playoffs. In the eighth round of the shootout, the new guy was tabbed and did the incredible.
Instantly scorched into the brains of Flames fans, that highlight is the only goal Schlemko would score as a Flame, and of course it wasn’t even a real goal. He would go on to register zero points in his remaining regular season games as a Flame, but would go on to add a single assist in the playoffs that year, on a T.J. Brodie goal in Game 3 that would give the Flames a lead they would not relinquish.
In the offseason, Treliving would make his best ever trade acquiring Dougie Hamilton, which sadly pushed Schlemko out of relevancy to the team. After his time with the Flames, he would go on to play for a number of different teams, never quite settling down until he stopped playing in 2019 after a short stint with Montreal. But for the absolute sheer chaos and joy he brought to a dark period in Calgary Flames fandom (the post-Iggy era), he gets a spot in the Scorchstack Forever A Real One series.
Bidding farewell to the bits that have left the team this summer
Real hockey analysis
by Nathan
A lot of lesser rags were up in arms over the last couple of weeks because of the ‘continual exodus’ from the Calgary Flames. Sure, the news about Hanifin, Lindholm, and Backlund stung a lot and the Toffoli trade was not great at all, but let’s not go pretending that losing Milan Lucic, Trevor Lewis, and Troy Stetcher were a huge loss.
For the team, that is.
Here at Scorchstack creative though, it just means more and more beloved bits that are now put out to pasture on Darryl Sutter’s farm, that itself also a now-retired bit. May they romp joyfully with the Gud?branson meter and our other classic content.
Let’s take a moment of solace for the bits we are losing. (Also a reminder fuck you to Elon for ruining Twitter but specifically the ability to embed here)
M’Lucic (regular and cursed)
Trev Time
Tyler To-goal-i
1000cic
And we’re going to offer up a hearty half-a-RIP to Troy Stecher? I hardly knew her as we still got Walker Dueher on the team. But thanks for playing as well Troy.
Bidding farewell to the bits that have left the team this summer
Too Old to be a prospect, too young to be part of a new core
by Konnie
Safe to say that the response to the trade which say Tyler Toffoli get sent to New Jersey for Yegor Sharangovich and a 3rd round pick was not received well. Toffoli was coming off a career year on a team that just could not function as a unit, so it was expected that they would be able secure a lot more value in what they got. However, the team had prioritized getting roster players and not draft picks in return and fell in love with the player, so we all end up here.
Hm.
At Conroy’s introductory press conference, he stressed that the Flames needed an inflection of youth into their roster, but also was pretty adamant on trying get guys like Elias Lindholm signed to remain competitive. Surely a guy like Sharangovich would fit into that role nicely? The team can say, “Well look at this guy, he is a young guy who’s still improving and has a good shot and speed! We took a risk and are confident that he can develop into a useful player!”
Except, Sharangovich isn’t really young. He’s 25, which obviously doesn’t him make him too old to be effective, but its not young enough to expect him to develop into something much more than he already is. Yes, he had a down season and the hope is that there is going to be a rebound, but how much likely could that possibly be? How much could he even improve?
It seems like, if the Flames are going into a rebuild/retool/rewhatevertheywanttocallit, Sharangovich seems to be the wrong kind of player that want to target. Depending on how long the Flames are planning to be not competing for, he certainly won’t be fitting the timeline once a new core is established. He’ll be well into his late 20s/early 30’s before the team would have a real chance at being competitive again.
Hmm.
All right, then the plan is compete next year, try to make the playoffs and maybe even potentially, possibly , if all the stars align, go on a run where they make it farther than anyone thought they could actually go. Surely that plan reeks a bit of the 2008-2012 era for my tastes, but if they do get Lindholm to re-sign long term, then hey, full speed ahead on trying to win. Sharangovich is now a bet that he can provide the type of value Toffoli could have in a non-career year at an age (and price) that is much more favourable to the team.
Here’s the thing, why go for it? Are the Flames as constructed actually a cup contending team? Sure, you are hoping for a bunch of players to bounce back now that there is a new coach in that they (hopefully) all like, but it does not seem like its gonna be enough to face the clear favourites ahead of them. And that’s assuming the team keeps Lindholm heading into the year.
So now you have a player who is too old to be part of a potentially new core that the Flames could posssibly build and not established enough to expect him being able to contribute a significant impact. Even if he does exceed expectations, his brand new 2 year contract is situated in a way where the Flames might not be in a sitaution where it even makes sense to extend him as they either will be starting to break apart a “competitive” team or already in year 2 of a serious retool of the roster.
Look, I really like the player. Partly cause I enjoy watching fast players who have an underrated shot. As well, I am physically bound to cheer on Eastern European players that play for the Flames (it doesn’t happen often!). I want him to succeed here and become a impactful player. However, with how the Flames are currently structured, as well as how unsure we are about the direction this team even wants to go in, I strongly believe the emphasis on getting a roster player back in the Toffoli deal was the wrong call.
Regardless how good or how shit Sharangovich is, the most value he will bring to the team is when he is inevitably traded at the 2025 trade deadline, and that’s depressing as his time is ultimately going to be a waste. If he actually is a great 20 goal scorer who is a fantastic penalty killer in Calgary, the real contender trading for him is gonna be really happy, while leaving us thinking, “What was even the purpose of that?”
It appears to be, there really is not plan. Oh well, hope is fun to watch.
Up Next Week
Well you see since Schlemko was tied for 14th in the series logic dictates we’ll tell you who he was tied with.
Something about a Jordan Oesterle?