ScorchStack Issue #112 - I apologize for not having something written in the past few weeks. (ed. note: lol)
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Let’s address the elephant in the room, we forgot to leave out Out of Office while we were away on our definitely planned Scorchporate retreat. HR has called us in to talk about this critical blunder, but unfortunately, they are away this week on their Scorchporate retreat so it looks like we’re getting away with this one.
Anyway, we’re back and yes we missed you too. This only applies if you just read the newsletter and don’t read the tweets.
What’s inside?
Matthew Phillips is small and so should our expectations be for him starting out.
We commemorate Kevin “The Roons” Rooney.
TRACSTACK
And even though Markström’s had two good games, let’s take a second and wonder if there isn’t a better, more compact solution to goaltending.
Since last issue
The Flames played a lot of games and you will be stunned to learn that they won some of them and then lost the others. That’s hockey, baby!
The return of a favourite:
People can’t stop talking about the Kubota Kids™ and they are all crediting Scorchstack with coming up with that brilliant name first as folks continue to #BACKTHESTACK.
So You've Decided to Foist Unrealistic Expectations on to Matthew Phillips
Let's just all agree to enjoy a good boy for once
by Tibs (@decayinwtheboys)
Matthew Phillips is in the NHL, and the entire Flames fanbase couldn’t be happier. Considering the last six months of Calgary Flames, it would seem strange to anyone outside of this fandom that an AHL recall would even garner excitement in the same area code as any of the other Flames transactions of late.
But they’re outside the fandom and they don’t know this one cool secret: Matthew Phillips rocks. To avoid wasting precious digital ink on why he rocks, here’s a nice point-form list:
He is a hometown boy done good.
He is 5’8”, 150 pounds, and has the face to match that ninth-grader frame. Phillips looks like he needs to learn what sohcahtoa means, the fact that he’s in the NHL is just adorable.
There are enough of these sick plays that I could fill two newsletters with them. This is the sickest in recent memory.
He has spent his entire career being doubted and then proving the doubters wrong. Phillips was stuck in AAA when he was WHL eligible, then finished top 20 in WHL scoring as a rookie but still only got passing glances in scouting reports. Then despite blossoming into an elite WHLer, he was snubbed from the World Juniors multiple times (knowing what we know now, this was actually a good thing, but it definitely sucked in that moment). And even though he did everything you could ask for and then some in juniors, his reward was spending five years on the farm without even receiving a lousy game 82 call-up (yes, he did get into end-of-season action in the bubble year, but let’s remember that it was a make-up game between two eliminated teams that was happening while the NHL playoffs were on. It couldn’t have been more fake).
Every time he runs into a negative - and again, it has been many times - he has always responded with a sunny attitude and kept chugging where many others might’ve looked to Europe and Spengler Cup dreams instead. Now’s a good time to remind you that he had his knee blow up in his second season and then covid happened the next week. A weaker mind would take that as a sign to do something else.
His nickname is “Bubba.”
Literally everyone saw the Flames picking him, and being right about a hockey thing is a better feeling than sex.
Within the Flames narrative, he was a part of the vaunted 2016 draft that would’ve launched the club into perma-contention. We all had intoxicating dreams of him playing alongside Sean Monahan, Johnny Gaudreau, Sam Bennett, Matthew Tkachuk, Dougie Hamilton, Mark Giordano, Adam Fox, and I’m not going to continue the list because I’m getting sad. Anyways, all those guys left, the Flames completely remade themselves, and Bubba is still here, chasing that dream.
The long-standing thought among Flames fans is that Phillips would only get recalled if there was a severe injury crisis. Given that the team loves playing injured guys, someone might have to die. Also given that the team has at least several create-a-players hanging around to play five minutes and score zero points, it would probably require several deaths. The most shocking part of this news is that Phillips is here on merit. If you’re a fan of another NHL team, that rings as normal. For a Flames fan, that’s absurd.
Even without a single (real) NHL game played (ed note: this was written last week), you can see why Matthew Phillips is perhaps one of the most cheerable players in the league. People are already pencilling him in as a solution to top six scoring woes. That’s why it breaks my heart to say that he’s probably not that good.
Yes, I do understand the ironic juxtaposition of talking about all the doubters he’s proved wrong and then being one of those doubters myself (and I hope I’m proven wrong!), but sometimes you gotta look at the facts. And the major fact with Phillips is that if any other fanbase was freaking out this hard about a 24-year-old AHLer who had been waived twice and went unclaimed both times, you would probably laugh at them. Think about when Oilers fans tried talking themselves into Ty Rattie being a Connor McDavid winger, never mind him being an NHLer in the first place.
Look, I don’t know what to tell ya, the man passed through waivers twice and no one wanted him. You have hockeydb dot com, 32 teams have eight-digit scouting budgets. They saw what you did, and then some. There are smarter teams out there than our Flames, those that key in on market inefficiencies, don’t get hung up on height or identity, who just want plain ol’ good players. There are also desperate teams out there, the kind that could use a handy player who costs league minimum and nothing else, and there are also teams with nothing to lose and nothing to build on that could give an opportunity to a youngish player with some potential. None, nada, zilch. No one was interested. Not a risk-free waivers claim, not a throwaway conditional seventh, not a trade throw-in. Everyone saw Matthew Phillips and they all said no.
Do they all see some awful deficiency (besides being 5’8”) that we don’t? Unlikely, it’s more that they just aren’t convinced. They see his talents, but they’re also sure that they also have that available. What makes Phillips more special than your version of Matthew Phillips?
There’s a cruel prospect math behind this thinking. Every year, teams get a default of seven opportunities to pick younger, theoretically better versions of you. When your ELC expires, your team could have at least 35 new boys to fill your spot, and so does every other team, so don’t start looking in the wanted ads. The league is constantly trying to replace you, and if you don’t stand out, you are replaceable.
The key part of the ELC is that waiver exemption usually expires at the same time that contract does, meaning that a team either has a roster spot for you or they’re comfortable with losing you for free. If you hit that point and aren’t in the club’s top 23 players, you’re in line to be replaced by a younger, better version of yourself. I would hate to defer to the hockey man hivemind, but if 32 teams don’t see you as being a top 23 player in their organization, it can’t be good news.
This isn’t just an argument specifically against Matthew Phillips, it is an argument against the prospect pervert brain that decides that all your prospects are special and good and no one else sees in them what you do. Hockey memory is short and we’ve been through this a million times (step on up, Max Reinhart!), but it bears repeating: a prospect is usually only 40% as good as you think he is, if that. Hockey fans are an unforgiving bunch, and failure to live up to those expectations can mean an indictment on the player, the organization, the development, the coach, maybe all of them. What those indictments ignore is that a sixth round pick from 2016 may just simply not have been one of the top 500 hockey players on Earth.
And truly this mindset is most unfair to Matthew Phillips, local boy done good. He’s going out there and living the dream he’s spent years working for. Go on and let him before you decide that he’s going to score 0.75 PPG and then get mad when he doesn’t hit that.
My favourite Kevin "the Roons" Rooney moment
He's Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson but for the name Kevin Rooney
by ramz (@ramzreboot)
The day we all dreaded has finally arrived. Kevin “the Roons” Rooney was put on waivers and, thankfully, he wasn’t claimed. But he was sent down to the AHL. Hopefully, this won’t be the last time we see Kevin “the Roons” Rooney, but for now, we bow our heads for a moment of silence.
As my probable final honour to him, I’m going to go through my favourite Roons moments.
The two times he almost scored
That time Brett Ritchie had an injury and didn’t play that night so the Roons drew in
That time he was part of a 3-on-1 breakaway but they didn’t score
Those times he took penalties
That time he won 33% of his faceoffs in the first period
That time he got into a fight
The three times he almost got a point
That time he had a good shift
The two times he drew penalties
That time he recorded 1:51 of ice time so far in the game
That time he touched Alexander Ovechkin
Thank you for all those memories, Roons. I will miss you so much.
Tracstack #1: Kubota is the only trusted name in Tractors
Tracstack? ScorchTrac? You tell us
by ramz (@ramzreboot) and konnie(@konnie49)
As you might know, we here at the Scorchstack are profound experts in the field of heavy farming equipment/machinery, and we take great pride in providing you, our faithful readers hucking at hay out there in the fields like our ancestors did, the absolute best information on what to use on your farms. And I will tell you this, in all my minutes of experience in Tractor evaluation and analysis, I guarantee you that the only brand you can trust is Kubota.
Kubota is a humble company, based out of Japan and is world-renowned for its truly amazing performance as well as reliability. A Kubota really is the Honda Civic of the tractor world. When you are working out on the field, the last thing you want is your tractor to suddenly stall out on you and break during the most important time of the harvest, whenever that is. That’s the reliability you can expect with Kubota. You think a John Deere can handle the job? Pffft, please. Don’t be ridiculous.
But don’t take it from me, take it from a man who truly knows his stuff, Darryl Sutter.
Look how happy he is. That’s not a smile for a John Deere tractor, that’s for sure, but for a quality Kubota M8 series.
And of course, a well-trusted farmer like Sutter would love a quality tractor such as the M8. It comes with an Electro-Hydraulic Operated PTO, a Cummins B6.7 Tier 4 Final/Stage V engine with 6 cylinders and a DOC+SCR+DRF Aftertreatment, and CAT III Drawbar. Do you think any other manufacturer has that? Probably not! It’s the largest Ag tractor ever built for a reason. Don’t ask me what that means.
And if, somehow, you are still on the fence about the amazing products Kubota, then listen to what my farming friend Brandon had to say on the tractor manufacturer.
That’s all you need to know. Tell your mates, it’s gotta be M8.
Kubota M8 sponsor us.
ScorchCon 1.5 recap
It's ScorchCon
by Ramz (@ramzreboot)
I apologize for not having something written in the past few weeks. (ed. note: lol) Maybe if Mr. Scorch paid me as much as my colleagues, I could quit my job and have more time. Alas.
On Nov. 29, a few Scorchies took part in ScorchCon 1.5 for Mike’s birthday. We started at Blue Star Diner where I got a BSD Dirty Double burger which of course stands for Big Save Dave Dirty Double. It was delicious but too much. I should not have gotten a double. Mike and Konnie both got a french onion grilled cheese and to be honest? I was very jealous. It looked delicious.
We then headed to the game where I was handed the aux cord to play some music and you bet your ass I did.
The game was fine I GUESS. That’s a lie. It was very fun and good. Everyone kept booing Matthew Tkachuk which is so mean :(
Not ScorchStack. We used our voices to boo the REAL enemy. A man who played 11 games with the Flames in 2018-19 and scored zero goals. Ryan Lomberg. Every time he touched the puck, we were ready with our “Boo Ryan Lomberg!!!!!” chants. We had to say it very quickly because he never had the puck on his stick for longer than two seconds. We also had to add “Ryan Lomberg” every time we booed because nobody else knew who he was.
I need to add that we were very close to the glass, section 106 row 6, and there were a few of us booing, so at one point we think he actually noticed it and was very confused. Yeah, that’s what you get Ryan Lomberg!!!!!!!!!!!
We got in his head soooo bad, that’s why he didn’t score any goals, something he’s definitely known for!
I have many videos of us booing Ryan Lomberg but you need to give us one million dollars for me to share them.
We of course got a birthday message for Michael ScorchStack.
After a great game, you know I was feeling that post-game win!
Overall I give ScorchCon 1.5 a 9.5/10. It would have really topped off a perfect birthday for Mike if Backlund scored a shorthanded goal when he had the chance, but he knew I had been saying “big bad Backlund got a backhand like Gudbranson” over and over all night and did this to spite me. My apologies.
Hear me out: Dustin Wolf
Awooooooooooooooooo
by Tibs (@decayinwtheboys)
Of all the various Flames issues this year, one stands out as completely unexpected and maybe the most urgent to fix: Jacob Markström and his subpar play. Sure, this was mostly written before the road trip where he looked pretty okay, but this isn’t about that. It’s about the future.
Why did a Vézina candidate suddenly become one of the league’s worst starters? The issue is clear for all to see, but fixing the problem is elusive because we don’t really know what it is. If we can’t diagnose, we can’t treat. It could be any of these things:
Goalies often go through random hot and cold streaks, with no clear reason why other than they just do (to be cliché, they are voodoo). It might just be a case of going cold that can only be resolved by playing him more and getting him back up to speed, but no one can trust that when the team could use some wins and the lineup in front of him can’t provide a solid cushion on the scoreboard.
Maybe he’s injured and needs to ride pine until he’s feeling alright.
Even if it’s not a diagnosable injury, it might just be all the mileage accumulated from being a heavy workload starter for the past five years. That exhaustion can build up and not be wiped away simply by taking a summer off.
The solution for now is to lean on Dan Vladař, who is playing well and helping out a lot, but that’s not a long-term solution. As good as he’s looked, he’s still under 50 NHL games, and most of that in favourable backup usage. What we see could be an emerging starting goaltender, it could be a mirage. If it works, it works.
Now here’s a crazy idea though: what if they called up Dustin Wolf and had a three-goalie rotation. Here are some good reasons for it:
Dustin Wolf, who is maybe as close to a sure thing as you can get with prospect goaltenders, is likely already knocking on the NHL door and probably doesn’t need to face many more AHL shots to figure out what he is. There’s not a whole lot of stuff for him to do in the minors, so why not at least give him a few NHL spins. Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work out, you just send him back to the AHL and keep him on the original development plan.
Connor Mackey is still here and is probably should not see an NHL game for the next six months after deciding to get concussed going up against Michael Pezzetta in Montreal. The Flames will save $99,000 in cap space by swapping out the two, and rolling daily cap space is something this team cares about even if they only make a big-time trade deadline move once every eight years.
Markström is 32 and will hit the halfway point of his six-year, $6-million dollar contract at season’s end. Ignoring the full NMC he has, you would probably want some clarity on the whole situation as his contract is now the one that the competitive window is pinned to. If he becomes redundant because of two other good goalies, saving $6M will help a lot in the next few seasons and provide some serious flexibility.
The chief complaint with Sutter and his starter-heavy goaltending usage is that it leads to burnout when the season really gets tough. With uncertainty around Markström, adding a third option might relieve pressure from the other two and also evenly distribute minutes until Markström works himself out.
I like Dustin Wolf and I think he’s great.
Up Next Week
The Flames will continue wearing the Pedestal jersey and might even keep winning while wearing it but real ones (Nathan and Floob) know the jersey isn’t that good
On Friday the Flames will play the St. Louis Blues, which will be their next step on their quest to win the cup, fill it up, flaming C, Calgary, lift it up, win the cup, the roof, the roof, the roof’s on fire when the teams gonna choke when the smoke get higher cause we skate fast burn ice, shoot, pass, check tight, Sutter looking good right 1989 hype, hit em with that good gaudreau going glove side, 2004 it wa
Big changes coming soon?